Forgotten Memories
by Tainted Elf
Summary: YR6.No slash.Harry wishes he were dead and Snape must deal with a new Defense teacher, one he remembers from his schooling? When Voldemort captures a defenseless Harry, can he survive? Full Sum. inside
1. Broken

Forgotten Memories, Painful Past

**SPOILERS FOR BOOK 5! DO NOT READ ON!**

Summary: The loss of his god father made the sixth year at Hogwarts seem pointless to Harry. It was too much, and the depression he'd been fighting back finally wins over. When he's forced to return, he finds that Professor Snape is as cruel as ever. But, now, their new defense teacher is just as difficult? Professor Sullivan and Professor Snape seem to have some sort of a past that none of the students can figure out, but neither of them are willing to discuss or resolve it. With two new students entering half-way through the year and the underground battle with Voldemort raging, everyone is feeling stretched beyond there limits. When Harry goes missing, the only question left is who will shatter? Harry? Hermione? Severus? Katya? Or even Dumbledore? No slash of any kind, just good old het. romance. Please R&R.

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Forgotten Memories, Painful Past 

Disclaimer: I don't own it... Sorry guys. Wish I did...

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Chapter One 

Broken

Severus frowned, term would be starting again tomorrow. Albus had told him about Harry. He closed his eyes in silent recollection. Those words, words he never thought he'd hear; or rather, words he never thought he'd hear about _Harry._ It felt like Harry had taken the thoughts and feelings Severus himself had buried long ago and acted upon them. It shocked him that the boy-wonder and he actually shared some experiences in common. It was all because of Sirius. He had pushed Severus to the edge during his adolescent years as well, but not in the same way. Snape had expected Harry to take Sirius's death hard, but not quite so hard.

Severus continued brewing the potion before him in silence, allowing his mind to wander as his body autonomously went through the required steps to complete the potion. _James and Sirius have been killed now, by Him_. Snape shivered, remembering the Dark Lord's power. The two Gryffindors, who had been his tormentors during his time here, who had been Harry's closest family, were both dead. _And Lily._ He cleared his throat and went to collect a vial. _Don't think about Lily. Thoughts of Lily bring on thoughts of Her_. Shaking his head, Severus poured the potent liquid in to the vial and marked it accordingly. After placing it meticulously in its proper alphabetical spot, he decided todeliver it to Dumbledore after lunch.

- -

Severus anxiously struggled to swallow the foul brew as he tipped his cup back. His mind reminisced of the one person who knew how to add a sweet taste to this potion. He missed her for a moment. The potion was a simple awakening brew to combat the dreamless draught he'd taken the night before, except it tasted as awful as ever. Every morning he was forced awake by the stench and foul taste of the brew. It caused him to remember her again. There was something she'd always added that made it taste like honey and peaches. It had been wonderful, incomparable to the thick horrendous liquid that was currently violating his throat.

"Severus?" The familiar face framed with salt and pepper hair appeared in his office doorway.

"Minerva?" He regarded the Transfiguration teacher with curiosity, she rarely ventured down to his dungeons.

She smiled politely as her wise eyes scanned the room. "Albus will be introducing the new Defense teacher shortly. He'd like the entire staff present." She finally locked her eyes on his, "That includes you."

Nodding sourly, Severus stood. "I'll be there." Her eyes watched him a moment longer, understanding his discontent. As he pulled on his dark cloak, Snape locked his office behind him. Minerva, the name suited her. He wondered if she realized that Minerva was the Roman Goddess of Wisdom. Allowing himself a half-smile in the privacy of his own classroom, he walked up the stairs. He didn't give a damn who'd taken the position, it wasn't his and that was all that mattered.

- -

Albus Dumbledore, the Headmaster at Hogwarts, stood in the faculty room and smiled at all the familiar faces. The visages of Fillius, Minerva and Poppy, among others, were visible across the room. Where was he? Dumbledore frowned. The only man who this announcement would _truly_ affect was not in attendance. Unfortunately, it didn't take a wizard to notice his colleges' unrest.

Finally, the dark cloak of the Potion's Master became visible in the back of the room. He looked rather displeased, as Albus had expected. "I've gathered you all here to introduce our new Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor. I would like you all to welcome Professor Raine Sullivan."

The door beside him opened and in walked a woman a bit taller than Minerva. She slid the hood off her cloak to reveal her long red hair, tousled from the trip no doubt. Smiling down at him; she radiated vivacity, something that would come in handy when teaching a class full of rambunctious teens about dark magic. Several professors nodded their approval; some even recognized her. The Potion's Master went pallid and a life-granting breath caught in his throat. '_For the love of all that is magical... It was Her.'_ He shook his head, it wasn't Lily, it was Katya. That was even worse. Severus took notice of how time had changed her. When she removed her cloak entirely, he noticed the freckle on her collar bone. There is was. It was definitely Katya. At a young age, Lily and Katya had looked very much alike. Except for that freckle, a glamour charm or two could hid all their differences. Now, time had aged Katya and death had preserved sweet Lily, ever young.

"Thank you Albus, I'm pleased to be back at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry." There was the other difference, her accent. Katya's mother was Russian, leaving her with the accent. Her full name was Ekatarina Raine Sullivan. When she was at Hogwarts, she went by Katya. Now it seemed she went by Raine, Severus scowled. He didn't care. She'd been gone from his life for ages.

"Welcome Miss Sullivan," several teachers greeted her, Severus just slipped out.

- -

It must've been past three a.m. when he heard the knock on his office door. He should've been asleep, he should've taken his drought and gone to sleep... But he hadn't. "Enter." He didn't have to look up to see who it was, he could smell her perfume. Raspberries and vanilla. It was made from oils, her own concoction. It was the same perfume she'd worn when they'd attended school.

"Severus," Oh God, she'd said his name. "I hope you're not angry about my teaching here... I'll leave if you are..."

Damn her. She was always too polite. If he asked her to leave, he'd feel guilty (something the dark and dreary potions master was not allowed to do.) Sometimes he wondered if she really knew what she was doing when she played people like she did. "Katya," the named rolled of his tongue as if he'd said it a thousands times just today, "I'm fine with you teaching. I haven't seen or heard from you in eighteen years. You're presence here holds little importance to me."

He could tell she flinched. "You're so cold, Severus..." There was his name again. Her voice was a low soprano, soft enough to be called husky as she spoke to him. Damn her, damn her, damn her.

"For the love of all that is magical, please just leave, Katya." He finally looked up at her.

Those green eyes stared back at him, hurt. Damn her. She regarded his acerbic attitude with a warm smile. "I missed you."

That was it. Severus should've known he couldn't endure her presence. It was too much now. He stood up. "Obviously not enough to care," Severus vanished in to his personal chambers.

Raine stood there a moment, staring at the stone wall. Just like that, he was gone. A frown graced her rose-tinted lips. "I'm sorry, I didn't abandon you..."Her eyes stared firmly at the closed wall, he hadn't heard her. Her plea fell on stale air and she turned to leave the room. Hesitating for barely a moment, she was gone.

Tomorrow she'd be teaching. Tomorrow she'd meet the Boy Who Lived, or rather, the boy who tried to die. So much like Severus... He'd called her Katya. She wondered if he still remembered her from Hogwarts. Never mind it, she flung her bed curtains shut angrily. He wasn't the Severus she'd known. That vulnerable, fragile and warm boy... He was now a cold and stoic man she wanted nothing to do with. So cold... She shivered under her blankets.

End Chapter One


	2. The Boy Who Wanted to Die

Forgotten Memories, Painful Past

A/N: I will officially be updating every Friday from now on. Enjoy!

Chapter Two 

The Boy Who Wanted to Die  
  
Harry didn't want to go back to Hogwarts. Not this year, not ever. Unfortunately, Harry couldn't stop time. September 1st rolled around again and he found himself on platform 9 ¾. He really saw no point this year in attending said school, Sirius was gone. The only family he had ever known was ripped from him before he could ever really show Sirius how much he cared. It was all thanks to the Dark Lord, _again_. All Voldemort ever did was torture Harry, steal from him that which he most cared for. First his parents, and now Voldemort had taken Sirius. The whole summer, it was all he could think about. Harry found it most difficult when Mr. and Mrs. Weasley had kissed him and sent him off at the station. He'd remembered Sirius coming the year before, well, Snuffles really. He wouldn't ever see Snuffles again.

Sighing despondently, he leaned his head against the window of the train and closed his eyes. The dull roar of the rain on the window started to sing him to sleep. Neither Ron nor Hermione bothered him. They were both extremely quiet, a contrast to all the whispers he knew he'd hear upon reaching Hogwarts. He preferred the silence when it all came down to it... He hated seeing the pity in their eyes. Harry couldn't stand it. Everywhere he looked, they either thought he was a raging lunatic craving attention or they pitied him. Thanks, again, to Voldemort. He sighed once more, and tried to get some rest. His arm was still throbbing faintly.

---  
  
Raine Sullivan watched nervously as all the older students seated themselves idly. Her eyes wandered to the rainy ceiling, the floating candles and the hanging tapestries of the Great Hall. Those green orbs lingered on the Ravenclaw banner, then the Hufflepuff, next to Slytherin and finally came to rest on the red and gold colours of Gryffindor. It had been ages since she'd been within these walls, yet little had changed. _Some_ things had changed, she reminded herself. Her omniscient green eyes flickered down to a young black-haired boy with a peculiar scar on his forehead.  
  
That was him, God did he resemble his father. She smiled softly when he saw her, but he didn't smile back. The boy looked terribly forlorn, not that she could blame him. Those despondent eyes reminded her of Severus. Instead of considering it any further, she turned to her fellow teachers that were now filing in. Minerva smiled kindly at her, as did Albus and Rubeus. She recalled her days spent in Minerva's classroom as a student. Now she would be a teacher, herself.  
  
She took her seat as the Sorting commenced. Raine remembered the long tedious Sortings during her years and dreaded dealing with another. Minerva began to read names, much to the new teacher's dismay. Her green eyes dulled softly, the sound of her old professor's voice lulling her to sleep.  
  
Finally, she could smell the food on the table before her and she opened her eyes fully. Minerva was giving her a reproachful glance from two seats down. Severus sat between them, looking rather unhappy as usual. Raine fought back an involuntary shiver. So much had changed in eighteen years, but so little. He was still quiet, still reserved... But now there was something tainted to him. Her lip curled as the name of Lucius Malfoy came to mind. He had lead him down the malignant pathway of a Death Eater. Raine cringed.

As though he empathetically sensed her dread, the Potions Master turned to her. "Is there something bothering you, Miss Sullivan?" So formal...  
  
The new teacher well-nigh flinched at the sound of his voice, as not even _it_ was the same. It was stone, showing little to no emotion to someone who was very used to the exact opposite from the pale man to her left. "No, Severus, I'm quite alright." Severus didn't seem to believe her. Had Dumbledore told them all, or did only Severus know? Raine frowned, she hadn't wanted the other teachers knowing of her 'quirks.' She returned to her food, praying that she wouldn't be bothered again.  
  
Several students watched her from time to time but she was pretty sure they all realized why she was here. After what happened to Dolores Umbridge... They must've known a new teacher would be arriving. How Albus had managed to put her in the position instead of someone from the Ministry was beyond her, but she most certainly was in no place to complain. Defense Against the Dark Arts, the cursed position, now belonged to Raine Sullivan, and she intended to keep it.  
  
Tucking her red curls behind her ear, she smiled as Flitwick rambled about what a cut-up she'd been. He'd been her Head of House. She'd been in Ravenclaw for her seven years at Hogwarts and she'd been one of the more rambunctious of the lot. What was to be expected when her friends consisted of James, Remus and Sirius? She sobered, of the three, only Remus was still alive. Lily was gone too, her sister in all but blood. Voldemort had taken them all away, killed so many innocents. Raine could still picture Lily's laughing face and James's charismatic grin. Sirius, vibrant and comic Sirius, now he too was gone. 

The only friend from Hogwarts she still knew at all was Severus, and he was not the young boy she had befriended on a fluke. She recalled how James and Sirius had teased him, and how Lily had berated them both for it. That's when she'd noticed those eyes, those two ebon pools watching her and Lily in wonder. When she'd turned and asked if he was alright, he'd looked shocked. Usually, only Lucius Malfoy stood up for him. While Lily berated the two rapscallions, Raine had helped him up and offered him a kind smile. Then, a week or so afterward, they'd been paired up in Potions class and realized their natural talent for the subject. James and Sirius had teased her for befriending the rather lanky and pale-faced boy, but Raine had paid them no heed. Severus had clung to her, like a fruit desperately dreading the fall to the ground after it has ripened. That wasn't this Severus sitting beside her today, Voldemort had kill him too. Staring in to her soup, Raine sighed and stood.  
  
Looking apologetically at Professor Flitwick, Raine excused herself. Several curious eyes followed her out as she headed for her classroom. Thankful to be away from the palpable tension the loomed in the Great Hall, Miss Sullivan sat at her desk. She began to draw up lesson plans. Tomorrow she had classes with Gryffindor and Slytherin year six and then Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw third years. The third years would be no trouble at all, but the sixth years? They'd only had one competent teacher prior to her arrival... Splendid. She took out her books and began to write.

---  
  
Hermione had overheard at Grimwauld Place that the new teacher had been a Ravenclaw at Hogwarts around the time that Sirius and Remus had attended. "I heard Dumbledore saying that the new Defense teacher was a Ravenclaw. I hope she'll be a good teacher."  
  
"A _good_ teacher?" Ron repeated, "As long as she not a bloody lunatic we'll have no cause for complaint!" His voice dripped with sarcasm.  
  
Harry sat in his favorite armchair, staring at the fire. He remembered how Sirius had talked to them through it last year. Everything reminded him of Sirius. Sirius was gone... Harry blinked, returning to the conversation. "She seemed nice enough." His voice hardly had an ounce of interest in it. His friends watched him a moment, their eyes full of concern. His arm still hurt. "Sorry, my mind was just wandering again." He stood and stretched. "I'm beat, I think I'm going to hit the sack." Smiling forcedly at them, he trooped up the stairs to his dormitory. Harry shed his garments and changed in to his pajamas, lying in bed; though he hardly expected to sleep through the night. His heart beat pulsed in his arm, reminding him of the healing wound.

Severus scowled as he noticed the nicely wrapped set of seven vials sitting on his desk. Her awakening serum. Damn her. Snape had said those words seven times in the meager two days she'd been here. What was he supposed to say when she waltzed back in to his life after abandoning him eighteen years ago?

Setting the vials thankfully in his office, he took his dreamless draught. He'd need it tonight. No dreams, or more importantly, no nightmares. He recalled seeing Harry in the Great Hall tonight. It was obvious which arm he'd cut, as the bandages made it disproportionate to his other arm. That poor child, Severus recalled how it felt. How it felt to want to die, to have nothing left. He'd had someone to save him, who would save Harry?

He closed his eyes, it was not his concern. The annoying prat of a Gryffindor could worry about that himself. Severus needed sleep, he had to teach Gryffindors tomorrow. Oh how he loathed the vivacious students. What was there to be happy about? The Dark Lord was calling him all too often, Harry was suicidal and now Katya was back. Damn her. He shook his head in dismay, that made eight times. His eyes closed in exasperation.

End Chapter Two


	3. First Day

Forgotten Memories, Painful Past

Chapter Three

First Day

Another gloomy, rainy day allowed little sunlight in to her bedchamber as Raine threw the drapes open. Sighing at the foreboding thunderclouds, she began her day. Picking out an emerald collared shirt and a grey coloured skirt that came to the middle of her calf, Raine slid in to the shower. It was hardly past dawn and she'd hoped for an early start.

Making her way down to the Great Hall she found none but Severus present. Her countenance immediately shifted to one of unrest and anxiety. Nodding cordially to him, she sat at her seat on the teacher's table. Severus sensed a deathly silence fall between the two, like a thin sheet of glass that would shatter at a pin drop.

Apparently, Raine hadn't sensed the invading discomfort. She turned to him, "Did you sleep alright?"

"Fine, thanks." Severus attempted to keep his voice as stoic as possible. It wavered precariously at the end of his statement but she didn't comment.

The new professor nodded. "That is good to hear. I am glad you are sleeping better than you used to."

He laughed sardonically, "If you really believed that you wouldn't have brought me those vials last night."

Raine didn't laugh. "I was rather hoping you'd stopped having those nightmares."

A welcomed silence fell between the two. "So how d'you like Hogwarts from a teacher's perspective thus far?" Oh for Salazar's sake, what had encouraged him to continue their conversation?

"Well, classes haven't even begun but thus far I find it rather nice to be back." Oh how he wished she'd leave. She gave an apprehensive chuckle, "If history is any indication though, I will only be here one year so it shouldn't matter anyway."

He didn't laugh. "I figured you'd end that curse." Severus berated himself silently, what in the name of all that is magical incited such a kind comment? He was setting himself up all over again.

Her? Why her? She chewed her lip nervously, "I see."

"If you ever need any help, I'm sure you recall where the Potions room is." Damn her. He almost growled in frustration. She exuded warmth, and it transferred to him. Severus Snape did not _do_ warmth. He was cold, he was stoic and he was uncaring. He liked it that way. Who was she to come change that? Right, she was Katya. He growled, he _really_ wanted her to leave.

She nodded, entreating every deity in her memory to relieve her of this awkward conversation. Raine couldn't help but fear he'd snap at her again.

In walked Minerva and Albus, the answers to her plea. They were talking quietly amongst themselves and took their seats. Minerva turned to her. "Did you find everything you needed in the classroom?"

"Yes, I did. It's perfect. I was hoping there might be a less cluttered place to practice though... Especially for the older students. Certain spells cannot be safely executed in mass quantities in such a confined area." Raine didn't look up from her eggs and toast.

The Headmaster smiled at her through his half-moon glasses, "Well, you know well already that there's plenty of room outside. As long as you don't interfere with Madame Hooch or Professor Sprout's classes, I'm sure you'll be fine."

She gave him a thankful grin. "That'd be terrific."

"What sort of magic do you have planned for the older students, Miss Sullivan?" Minerva eyed her wearily, remembering the pranks she used to pull on younger students when she attended the school.

"I'm not sure yet, as I have not seen what they are capable of. I doubt the basic disarmament charm will be necessary but I may warm up with freezing and binding spells. If I'm lucky, I'll be able to help them with the Patronus Charm."

McGonagall looked baffled, "You expect the children to be capable of that?"

Raine frowned, "With Voldemort back in power, I don't _expect_ it, I _demand _it."

Dumbledore nodded austerely. "Minerva, I've talked to her. She is well informed. It would be hard to keep something like that from a young woman like her. Remember what she was like at Hogwarts?"

It was rather uncomfortable to hear the two talk about her when she was sitting two seats down. Her eyes wandered to the doors of the Great Hall where a handful of early-rising students were wandering in. Severus looked appalled, "You trusted her with information on the _Order_?" What was he, chopped liver? Hadn't he known the bloody woman far better than Albus ever had? It was so nice of him to solicit his opinion. '_Oh wait, he didn't,' _Severus thought dryly.

Albus frowned, "I have every intention of inducting her. If she's to teach these children how to defend themselves, she must be informed on what they will be facing." When Severus's concern didn't fade, he continued; "She's a brilliant legilimen and occulmen, Severus. Stop worrying, you should trust my judgement by now."

There it was. It'd been said. Why not tell the whole bloody world! Raine had been born with a natural knack for legilimency. Growing up, she thought she was crazy when she'd catch snippets of people's thoughts as she looked them in the eye. Once she attended Hogwarts, Dumbledore had explained to her what legilimency was. It all came together and Raine honed her abilities as best she could. Dumbledore helped, and now she was strong enough to sustain even his occulmency for a certain amount of time.

Severus frowned, unhappy that he had not been previously informed, but with all the surprises he'd received in the last seventy-two hours, why not? Next he'd find out she was an animagus and that Potter was being inducted in to the Order. "Perhaps she would want to help teach Potter." Hell knows Snape would take any way out of the dreadful lessons, even if that way _was_ Katya.

Dumbledore shook his head. "You've experienced the Dark Lord's powers. You will teach Harry."

Raine looked at Severus with a mixed look of repulsion and surprise. She'd known he'd been a Death Eater. She had no idea he'd been so close to Voldemort. How could Albus trust him? She shrugged it off, deciding to trust his judgement over her own. He was decades wiser than she.

A feeling of triumph overcame Severus. While he was still stuck with Potter, he was also declared the better Occulmen. That gave him something over Katya, that allowed him to return to his impassive and cool countenance.

Now a larger group of two dozen or so students was forming at their designated tables. Her colleagues noticed this and abruptly cut off their conversation. Professors Flitwick and Sinistra wandered in and claimed their seats. Raine smiled at Professor Flitwick. "Good morning."

Sibyll Trelawny walked by, "It won't be, trust me dear."

Shaking her head softly at the Divination Professor's statement, Raine turned back to her breakfast. What an interesting lot. It was hard to believe that they all worked together without fail. McGonagall and Snape were nothing alike, and now she and Sibyll added another mismatch of personalities. She generally thought Divination a joke, but wouldn't dare say so to someone like Sibyll. '_Oh wait, I did,' _Raine mused silently.

Dumbledore had informed her that not every teacher was in the Order, though most knew of it's existence to some extent. Was Sibyll actually a member? Raine wasn't quite sure she'd be able to regard the woman's predictions with a sense of importance for the decorous amount of time that propriety required. No, she _knew _she wouldn't be capable of such feats. She finished her meal as a hoard of students piled in. She spotted Harry and his two friends. The red head, Ronald Weasley and the young girl, Miss Granger flanked him. Smiling at the still downtrodden Harry, she took her leave.

IIII

Forty-five minutes or so after Professor Sullivan had taken her seat in her classroom, students began to file in. Gryffindor students smiled politely at her as Slytherins tended to look displeased. After the last of them (notably Draco Malfoy and his miscreant crew) filed in, Miss Sullivan began.

"My name is Professor Sullivan, and I will be instructing you all this coming year in the art of magical defense. Spells that will cause a Dementor to draw back in fear, charms to heal a wounded ally..." Her green eyes darkened, "And curses so excruciating that they are considered Unforgivable."

A hush fell over the rowdy class, "I have heard of your history of Defense Teachers, and I find it quite frustrating. I have come to expect the lot of you are nothing more than blubbering gits that would meet your end when faced with a meager boggart. That can not be allowed in the world we live in, nor will I permit such inadequacy in my classroom. You are here to learn how to protect yourself and others, if you fail to do so I will not hesitate to flunk you all. What I am to teach you is a matter of life and death, no more and no less; I will expect perfection from you, no more and no less."

She smiled, "That being said, welcome to your sixth year of Defense Against the Dark Arts. I'd like you to take out your books and hand them to me please." All the books were passed forward, the class giving her their undivided attention. Raine took the books and tossed them in to an empty bureau. "You won't be needing those now, a book knows nothing of the adrenaline and fear one experiences when forced to defend oneself. I do. You will too, in turn, know what that feels like."

She noticed Hermione Granger paying utmost attention, and she smiled at her. "Now, for starters... Can someone tell me what you _have_ managed to learn?"

Miss Granger's hand was in the air. As soon as Miss Sullivan nodded to her, she began. "Last year many of the students in our year got together to practice outside of class since Miss Umbridge refused to teach us anything. Those in the group managed to master disarmament charms and a large number of us perfected the Patronus charm."

That was exactly what Raine had hoped to hear. "Thank you, that was quite informative." She noticed a look of disbelief on many Slytherins' faces. "Obviously a few slackers did not attend these meetings," she frowned, "Well, how many of you know for a fact that you can perform a disarmament charm correctly on the first attempt?" Two thirds of the class raised their hands, the remainder consisting mostly of Slytherin students. Raine thought she'd faint. A simple disarmament charm was impossible for one third of the sixth years?

She nodded, masking her displeasure. "All right. Now, I'd like a volunteer to come demonstrate and then we shall head outside to practice. This week will be spent on reviewing that charm and a few other basic ones."

Hermione groaned but raised her hand to volunteer. Her hand was the only one up, but Miss Sullivan called on a young boy sitting behind her. "Mister..." she checked the role, "Longbottom. Would you care to demonstrate? I would like you to try and disarm me." Raine drew her ten inch wand made of ebony. Draco Malfoy and two students she'd made a point of identifying as Vincent Crabbe and Gregory Goyle sniggered. Raine only hoped that none of the three were even a bit like their father's; unfortunately, it took but a moment for her to realize the futility of said expectation.

Neville stood nervously. "I can try." With Ron, Harry and Hermione all giving him looks of encouragement, he took out his wand. _"Expelliarmus!"_

Since Professor Sullivan made no attempt to block the curse, her wand flew from her hand and into the corner behind her desk. "Excellent. Five points to Gryffindor."

Seamus Finnegan and Dean Thomas slapped one another a high-five and a few other Gryffindors cheered. Raine turned to the class, "Don't make me revoke those points. Off with you, we'll be outside practicing so none of you fools manages to kill someone."

IIII

"Ten points from Gryffindor," Snape snapped at Ginny Weasley as she fumbled her potion. "Clean it up, and I want a foot long essay on my desk tomorrow about how critical gillyweed is for this potion. Understood?"

Ginny nodded meekly, Professor Snape was particularly vicious today. Every Gryffindor around her was struggling to attain perfection and steer clear of the Professor's wrath.

IIII

Raine frowned. "That'll be twenty point from Slytherin." Mudblood, that's what he'd said. Since when were students allowed to speak like that at Hogwarts? Oh, it was Mr. Draco Malfoy. Frowning, she ordered him to stay after class. Naturally, the reprimand would be futile (if he was anything like his father) and would only make his torture worse for his victims _but_ she had to try.

Draco approached her after class with a sly sneer on his lips. "You wanted to speak with me Miss Sullivan?"

"Professor Sullivan," she corrected, "And yes, I did."

"Well?" He looked like he was pressed for time.

Raine sighed. "That word you spoke will never be used in my class again, is that clear?"

The Slytherin Prince, assuming he was like his father, rolled his eyes dramatically. "Yes Professor."

"You are _not_ to use any more profanity. If I catch wind of it, I will speak with your Head of House. For now, you will be spending a week's detention in my classroom each night."

"Sounds delightful," he sneered. "I'll look forward to it Raine..."

She took a deep breath, "You will address me as Professor Sullivan, thank you."

Draco walked out of her classroom. She confirmed it, he was his father's son, no doubt. Sighing exasperatedly, she leaned back in her chair. Lunch break, thank goodness. Raine recalled that her presence was expected at the Great Hall during all meals. She would sit next to Severus, again. Why was he so cold? _'Because you abandoned him to Them...'_ her conscience replied tartly. Shaking her head, she departed for the Great Hall.

IIII

Snape had every intention of remaining in his dungeons for lunch, until he'd heard about Malfoy's detentions. His godson certainly did nothing to warrant such a treatment from Katya, he would indeed have to inquire as to his crime. For this reason, and this reason only, he reminded himself, Severus Snape meandered up the stairs to the Great Hall. "Miss Sullivan," he greeted her with utmost formality.

"Severus," she smiled. Why couldn't she just do the same? He frowned.

The Potions Master sighed, "It has come to my attention that you've assigned Mr. Malfoy a series of detentions over the course of this week. I was wondering if there was a reason to your unsympathetic punishment?"

Raine sighed, she'd expected this after learning that Mr. Malfoy was Severus's godson. "He used very foul language in my classroom; such language that I cannot permit to go unscathed in a proper learning environment."

"May I inquire as to the significance of said profanity?" Finally, she was being formal with him. He didn't want any of her warmth and caring and concern. It violated his code of conduct. Don't give a damn and no one will give a damn about you. He liked it that way.

She chewed on her lip out of habit. "Severus, I'm not going to repeat the word." Raine had heard it used a few to many times in regards to Lily during their time at Hogwarts but it was only used by Lucius. _'Bastard,'_ she glared at her plate, as if it warranted some form of disciplining.

_'Ah, that word,_' Severus frowned. Mudblood. It hadn't required much recollection to recall what one word would send Raine in to such a nostalgic and forlorn trance. Sighing mellifluously, Severus returned to his lunch.

_'Good, he hadn't bothered to argue.'_ Raine nodded softly, returning to her meal. As she rose, Miss Granger approached her. "Professor Sullivan, I need your help..."

Assuming she was studying Defense spells, Raine quickly accompanied her. When they didn't head outside or to the library, she began to worry. "What is it Miss Granger?"

"It's Harry..."

Her verdant eyes widened with concern. Oh no, not again. She stopped, she wasn't sure she could handle a scene like this again. "Perhaps you should call Madam Pomfrey..."

Hermione shook her head guiltily. "I..." she frowned, "I overheard Dumbledore talking about you about a week before term started. He said that the new teacher might be of some help with Harry... He said you had experience with this sort of thing."

"That's true, and it's an experience I don't wish to repeat." She shuddered, so much blood. She learned a few healing spells for the sole purpose of preventing events like those Harry had incited.

"Please, Professor, Harry needs you..." Hermione's pleading voice was more persuasive than Raine had expected.

She nodded. "Take me to him." She entered the Gryffindor Common Room, a place she recognized from late night visits to the boys' dorms... More specifically Sirius's. Blushing softly, she entered Harry's room. He was on the floor, crying. No blood. She sighed with relief. "Harry, dear, are you alright?"

Harry looked up at her in surprise. Wasn't she the teacher who rivaled Professor Snape's vehement attitude? He sighed, "I'm fine."

"I'm not blind Harry, now talk to me..." She motioned for Hermione to leave and close the door. She sat down next to him on the floor. "Is it Sirius?"

He shook his head. No, not Sirius this time. "No." Harry didn't elaborate.

Raine put a hand on his shoulder, "Who is it then?"

"The Dursleys," Harry finally looked up at her. Vibrant green eyes stared in to sullen dull ones. For once, Harry saw no pity... no spite and no skepticism. He saw understanding.

She bit her lip, more like Severus than she'd imagined. "They hurt you Harry?"

Harry had been forced to return to them for a short while over the summer. The last week before term. That's when he'd cut himself. That brief pain should've ended what would've been a lifetime of pain spent there. "Only Uncle Vernon."

"You realize you don't deserve it, that he's just a worthless close-minded git who can't manage his temper?" Another meek nod was his only response. She sighed. "Harry..." Raine stood and called Hermione back in. Whispering a bit to him, she departed.

Hermione was shocked when Harry walked in to class late, but looking very chipper. What had Professor Sullivan said to him? Truth be told, Hermione had been skeptical to summon the rather stern teacher to begin with, but obviously it had done some good. Smiling kindly at Harry, she continued her transfiguration notes.

IIII

"Fifteen points from Ravenclaw," At the rate both Snape and Sullivan were revoking points, all the Houses would be competing to stay at zero. Padma Patil angrily picked up her wand and performed the disarming charm on her partner. Most of the Ravenclaw group was getting it right, except for Anthony and two others. Padma helped him out, feeling obligated as his co-prefect.

Raine smiled, content to see all the Ravenclaws were done. "Thirty points to Ravenclaw. You've completed it the fastest of the four houses. Now, help the Hufflepuff students if you will..." Four or five of them were still hitting the wrong opponent. Padma sighed and walked over to help.

IIII

"Ah..." Severus groaned as he heard that vexingly feminine voice enter his classroom. "I can still recall when we sat at these desks brewing the dark creations Professor Harrington made us concoct, still smell the thick fumes and picture the simmering liquid." Katya smiled at him. "It was all rather dramatic really..." She had loved Potions, and had loved taking the class with Severus even more. "D'you remember when we did that project together?"

He nodded negligently.

Katya sat down on his desk. "You didn't eat dinner..."

"I wasn't hungry," the Potions Master replied dryly.

She frowned, "Hungry now?"

Why wouldn't she just give up? Severus set his quill down. "Persistent still?"

"As always," her grin had a charming way about it that Severus could recognize from their childhood. Maybe one meal wouldn't hurt, the past was the past.

"Are you cooking?"

Katya laughed derisively, "Well you certainly aren't. You'll end up brewing a poison to kill us both." She smiled at him. "If you don't trust me I can have something brought from the kitchens..."

Severus leaned back in his chair. "Well I'm sure not risking being seen with you in the halls. Have you heard what these mindless gits have been saying?" His voice sounded almost indignant.

"Well," Katya smiled, "I've been asked if I was married to you. I've been asked if I was related to you and I've been asked if I hate your filthy black guts..." she crinkled her nose in amusement.

Well at least she was as blunt as always. "That's about what I've heard, and I'd rather not encourage any further banter. We can eat in my chambers, they're devoid of any random potions vials you may mistake for condiments," he had a dry smirk on his lips.

Katya couldn't tell if he was insulting her or making a joke, then again, that's how it usually was with Severus. "Splendid." She opened the door and told a waiting house elf to bring the food.

"You expected a positive reply?"

"Either that or I would've tied you down and force fed you," she chuckled softly.

She really hadn't changed much, Severus realized. Katya was Katya, but with a few more curves that she'd filled in to and a softness to that edge that'd staved off most men during their schooling. "I heard you gave a frightful speech to all your classes..."

Katya smiled, "Still nothing on yours..." She sat on the front row desk. "The exact art of potion-making... The beauty of the softly simmering cauldron..." Her eyes danced over his face. "You're really quite eloquent when impassioned."

Severus took note that 'passion' was part of that word. He was not a 'passionate' person. He didn't put enough emotion in to life to be 'impassioned.' He scowled. "I merely wish for my students to realize that they've bitten off more than they can chew by even trying my class..."

"Potions is mandatory..." She watched for a reply.

He gave another scowl, "All the same. As you said, with the Dark Lord back, they've got to hone their skills."

Katya only nodded. "Severus..." her hand reached for his sleeve, pulling it up and examining the Dark Mark. "When did you get this?"

Severus snarled defensively and pulled his arm away. "None of your business." He frowned. "After you left..." he conceded.

"I didn't leave _you_ Severus... I had to leave Hogwarts..." He'd known that. She'd been called back by her family. Her grandmother had died and left her to manage all the property once she reached the proper age, with no one left to aide her, Katya had been forced to return to Russia right after Hogwarts got out.

"It's in the past now..." He frowned. "Regardless of why you left... Lucius and I grew closer. He and I had quite a lot in common. He told me of a wizard who wanted the wizarding world to be ruled by only those of pure blood. A wizard who was more powerful than anything we'd ever imagined."

Raine frowned but moved to answer the door as the food arrived. She noticed a cringe cover Severus's face as she walked away. "You alright?" She took the tray from the elf, thanking her. "Sever-"she turned and he was gone. The silver tray hit the floor with an echoing crash. He had been sitting right there, and he was gone... She walked in to his office, his private chambers and back in to the classroom. He couldn't have apparated. He was just gone. Murmuring several curses in Russian, she headed up for Dumbledore's office. "Tweak." The staircase moved down.

End Chapter Three


	4. Counting the Days

Forgotten Memories, Painful Past

Chapter Four

Counting the Days

---

"Gone, you say?" Dumbledore frowned. "I see. Just vanished?" She nodded. "Don't worry. He'll be back. He's on business."

Raine felt rather foolish. "For the Order?"

The elderly man nodded, watching her carefully through his half-crescent lenses. "In a manner of speaking, yes."

She didn't like being left out of this. She knew he was doing work that was probably very dangerous yet she could not know if he was going to be gone long or what he was doing more precisely. Accustomed to getting what she wanted in her home, Raine was rather unsettled about the whole thing. Dumbledore hadn't asked why she'd been with him, for that she was grateful.

"I'll need you to cover his third year classes until his return. I'll have other teachers cover for the higher level classes." Albus smiled. "Thank you for notifying me."

Raine sighed, "I can teach higher than third year, Albus..."

He nodded judiciously, "I realize that, but please, the third years will be fine."

Caught between feeling insulted and wanting to know more about Severus, Raine decided nothing good would come of further conversation. "Good evening Headmaster," she took her leave rather hurriedly.

---

Third year potions had gone well, Raine decided as she walked in to her class and prepared for sixth year Defense. Shaking her head, she charmed the chalk as it began to write on the blackboard. She thought about the three spells they'd practice in double Defense today. Impedimenta and Incarcerous were the first two words scribbled on the board.

Hermione and Ronald Weasley wandered in. He sat down as she approached Ms. Sullivan's desk. "Professor?"

Definitions began to appear on the blackboard. "Yes Miss Granger?"

"What'd you say to Harry? His mood is greatly improved... And... Well, I was wondering how you did it..." She looked rather shy about it all.

Raine smiled, "It was simple really. I told him that if he quit, Voldemort would win." Ron still flinched at the sound of the name from his seat. "I told him if the Dark Lord won, then Hogwarts would not be here to offer wizards like him reprieve from people like the Dursleys." Her smile slid down a bit, looking less sincere. "I also told him that if he wasn't here to play Quidditch, Malfoy would win the Cup this year."

Hermione chuckled softly, "Thank you Professor... For cheering up Harry. H-He really seems happy again." She looked behind the Professor with a guise of confusion. Raine turned around to see Severus's name written on the board in large writing with a massive exclamation point at the end. "Something the matter?"

"No, everything's fine." The writing quickly erased itself. She'd gotten side-tracked again, worrying about Severus still. A soft blush was apparent on her cheeks but the two students just sat calmly and awaited the rest of the class.

Harry entered shortly after and smiled at his friends before turning to Raine. "Professor Sullivan, Dumbledore has asked me to tell you that I'll need your help with my remedial potions during Professor Snape's absence."

She mouthed the word 'remedial potions' with a confused look. She was certain Harry wouldn't need remedial potions, no matter how Snape hated him. "I'll see you in my office to set up a time after class Mr. Potter. Thank you."

"No problem Professor." With a rather jovial smile, he approached his friends. The three sat together chatting as a few Slytherins and other students piled in.

Snape's absence had been announced at breakfast that morning, so it wasn't a surprise that many people were gabbing about him. What _was_ shocking was the fact that several students mentioned the fact that _Raine_ had been with him when he left. How in the name of all that was magical did kids find out details that were supposed to be confidential? '_Oh, right_' She mused, _'It's Hogwarts...'_

"Quiet down class." She stood, "Can anyone tell me which curse on the board deals with fire?"

Raine did not call on Hermione's anxiously awaiting hand. She scanned the room. "Ms. Parkinson?"

The young Slytherin looked up from her place beside Draco Malfoy. "Um..." Her eyes shifted to the list behind Professor Sullivan. _Not Impedimenta..._ She sighed, "Well, Incarcerous sounds like incarcerate... So, Incindio?"

"In_cen_dio..." She corrected her pronunciation. "Yes, that's correct." The professor turned to pull out several large blankets from an old carpet bag. "These are fire resistant. I want you each to wrap yourselves in these when you're attacked. Failure to do so will result in two weeks detention and twenty points from your house." The blankets floated to each student. "Now who knows what Impedimenta does?"

Harry _and_ Hermione raised their hands. Raine smiled, "Mr. Potter?"

He had a rather proud grin on his face, Defense was something Harry knew all too well by his sixth year. "Impedimenta will freeze or slow down your target. Sometimes it can disorient them."

"Splendid. Five points to Gryffindor." She removed her wand. "Finally we have the Incarcerous charm. Pansy was very intelligent in commenting that the charm sounds like the word 'incarcerate.' This charm will detain your enemy under most circumstances but can also be rather easily blocked." Professor Sullivan came around her desk. "Harry, since you seem to know your spells so well, we'll see if you can block my Incarcerous charm."

The sixth year stood rather nervously and walked across the room. He stood about ten feet in front of her. "All right Professor."

"_Incarcerous!"_ The bolt flew from her wand as she held it firmly. She watched to see what Harry would do with utmost interest.

Harry studied her a moment, then reacted the instant the spell was cast. If it was simple to deflect... "_Protego!"_ The offending charm failed and Harry sighed with relief. It had been rather simple.

The class clapped, well, the Gryffindors did. Harry took his seat as Miss Sullivan went back around to her desk and picked up a clipboard. "We'll be heading outside now. I want you all to first practice _effectively_ casting the Incarcerous charm before the protection charm is used. Start with Impedimenta, then Incendio and finally the Incarcerous charm. Let's get going. You'll need all the time in class today to get these down I suspect..." The class headed outside.

---

Raine's head whipped around at the sound of a charm she hadn't instructed them to practice. "Accio!" She approached Crabbe, his wand now in her hand. "What is the meaning of this?"

Vincent was stammering, "W-We finished our assignment e-early and we were practicing other m-magic."

"That is not a spell I have taught you yet. It is not safe for you to practice _especially_ on your peers!" She turned to Gregory Goyle. "Finite Incantatem." His bloating head shrank back to normal. "Oh for Rowena's sake, go see Madam Pomfrey. Tell her you need a shrinking potion and some common sense." Her spell would only be temporary, a potion was needed to cure him. Her glare fixed back on Crabbe. "That'll be twenty points from Slytherin and a week's detention with Filch. I've got no use for a dunderhead like you, I'm sure he can put you to good work!"

Malfoy snickered, "Smooth." He turned back to Pansy and practiced the Incarcerous charm again. It was quite effect, even if she _had_ been looking the other way.

Shaking her head softly, she returned to help Millicent get the Impedimenta charm right.

---

Three days before winter finals, Raine was sitting at her desk drawing up a potions final she hadn't planned on needing. Severus still hadn't returned. It'd been nearly two weeks, she was worried sick. She'd been left to replace the potion stock in the Hospital Wing in his absence, but worse, she'd heard awful rumors. Students were saying the Dark Lord killed him, that he'd been kidnapped, and that he'd killed himself. The last rumor had been one that Raine fiercely refuted. Severus would never kill himself.

"Professor?" She recognized Harry's voice. Right, he had 'remedial potions' today.

"Take a seat, I'll be with you in a minute." The quill stopped moving and she folded the parchment up, putting a hex on it in case anyone tried to steal the answers before she finished. "Ready?"

His lips formed a tight line. "Professor, I'm worried about Snape."

Raine sighed and sat across from him. "_Professor_ Snape," she corrected, "He will be fine. He's a brilliant wizard and I'm certain he will be able to take care of himself. If he needed help, Dumbledore would know." She could tell Harry had a strong faith in the Headmaster and that the words would sooth his anxiety. "Now are you ready or not Mr. Potter?"

Harry gave a faint grin, almost resembling James's. "I was born ready." He stood up, preparing to be mentally bombarded by the legilmen. She was as strong as Snape had been to him, and while it hurt, it was making him much stronger. He gave a wince as she held up her wand.

---

Heaving a nostalgic sigh, Harry waved to Hermione as she left. Her family was going on another vacation for the winter. Ron was staying at Hogwarts with him though, which made things a little better. Snape was still missing and that _definitely_ didn't make things any better. Sure, he loathed the guy as the Professor equally loathed him, but if Voldemort had anything to do with this, Harry really wanted to see him back safely.

Professor Sullivan had given all the finals, and they were nothing short of Snape's rigorous ones in years past, but it still wasn't the same. He sort of missed the biased greasy git. Harry turned to Ron. "Feel like visiting Hagrid?"

Ron nodded, adding a soft sigh. "Why not?" He wrapped his scarf tighter around his neck. "Let's go."

---

Little sleep was wearing on Raine's nerves. She could've sworn she'd just seen an owl at her window. With no wizarding family to speak of, this was highly unlikely, if that. Tugging the window open, she found that she wasn't crazy. The owl landed on the sill, hooting. It wasn't an owl she recognized, but she pulled the letter from his foot. It was her brother, Akim. He was a squib, and therefore not considered part of her family by anyone but her. He was back in London after a long stay in America.

The fact that he'd used owl post amazed her. Then she got to the end of the letter. He'd heard that she was teaching when he'd asked around in all the right places. Akim had _also_ heard rumors of Voldemort's return. He urged her to leave.

Raine sighed heavily, shaking her head. Muttering 'fool' under her breath in Russian, she began her reply. All she could think to write about was Severus's absence.

---

She sat straight up in bed, her mouth opened wide in a silent shriek of absolute terror. Screaming, she tried to block out the memories. She was shaking terribly as she climbed out of bed and headed for the dungeons. She needed one of those dreamless draughts herself... Wiping any trace of the remaining tears from her eyes, she opened the door.

As she walked in to the cabinets and pulled out the necessary jars and flasks, Raine heard a groan. She gasped, barely keeping the materials in her hands as she set them on a table and followed the sound. Around the corner, in his office on the floor, Raine saw Severus.

His deep black eyes were filled with agony. "Katya..." He hadn't wanted anyone to see him like this, but _her_? After she'd seen him bruised and bloody, embarrassed beyond belief and half-dead in a pool of his own blood... This was the last straw.

She heard his embarrassment and felt his anger. He wasn't concentrating on his occulmency at the moment. Raine pulled her nightshift up to her thighs and fell to her knees in front of him. "Sev..." She hadn't called him that since Hogwarts.

"Go." What had been intended to sound like a harsh rejection came out as more of a plea from the dark man's voice. His black eyes tried to remain stoic and cold, but he found it hard in the face of such tormenting anguish.

"Shh..." Taking out her wand, she pulled his upper body in to her lap. "It's okay, I can help." Raine had been forced to be schooled as a mediwitch when she'd returned to Russia. It was what respectable women did then... And she'd needed to set an example. _"Dolorosa reducio!"_ Her hands wandered over his body, inspecting cautiously. "What hurts the most?"

Severus tried to fend off the invading touches, "My pride." His voice oozed sarcasm.

Raine sighed, "If you're well enough to be a smart ass I should just leave you here..." She didn't move. "_Skeletus reparo_!"His broken wrist began to mend slowly, though it cracked sickeningly. "I'll get a pain reduction potion and a bone repair potion." She propped him up against his desk. "Then you'll need a good day's rest."

He groaned faintly, closing his eyes. "Term's over?"

"The children have been gone for two day's time." Raine's voice traveled from the storage closet. "Only about thirty stayed here this winter. Not a surprise with all the political intrigue involved lately..." She reappeared at his side shortly and held a vial to his lips. "Drink it. Don't be a stubborn git."

Severus eyed her angrily but swallowed both vials after thorough inspection of their contents. "I can't sleep until I've spoken with Albus..."

Raine handed him one last vial, "For the swelling... take it."

Having realized he could trust her after the first two vials, he drank the last one without further inspection. The taste of sweet honey and peaches filled his mouth. Damn her. "This isn't for the swelling..." He was drowsy, it'd been a dreamless draught.

"I'll put you to bed and notify Albus of your return. You were too stubborn to rest on your own, so I thought I'd give you some personal encouragement."

Somehow she managed to help him up and in to his personal chambers. Laying him out on the bed, Raine pulled back the covers and sighed. Severus was hardly even awake anymore. With a moment's hesitation for propriety's sake, she removed his shoes and socks. His cloak was discarded in one of two chairs in his room and she covered him up with the blankets. He could sleep in his shirt and pants, she sure wasn't going to strip him. Raine sat in the other chair near his bed for a few moments, making sure he was asleep, before heading for Dumbledore's office.

---

"Albus? Albus, are you awake?" Raine entered his office nervously.

As she expected, the Headmaster was sitting at his desk. Raine began to wonder if he ever found time to sleep. "What is it that I can help you with Miss P- Sullivan."

Raine realized he'd almost called her by her Russian name. Giving him a thankful smile at his correction, she sighed softly. "Severus has returned. He had a broken wrist, and his ankles were terribly swollen... I'm sure they've just started mending from rather nasty sprangs. Aside some minor cuts and bruises, his wrist is healing and I gave him a dreamless draught. What I'm more worried about is his mind, he seemed rather defeated. He didn't even curse at me when I tricked him in to drinking that draught."

Once again, Dumbledore did not ask why Raine had been the one to find him. "You've had medical training?" She nodded. "I suppose they'll be no point in calling Madam Pomfrey down then." He sighed softly, "How long will he sleep?"

"My potions are usually made for highest efficiency so I would say eight hours with only about ten minutes leave for marginal error."

He nodded. "Very well. Would you like to be summoned when he awakens?"

Raine watched him with a mix of confusion and surprise. "I was planning on staying by his side. I won't be sleeping any further tonight regardless..." The Headmaster nodded his consent.

"I will be down around nine am. Do not leave his side for an instant." Nodding her affirmation, Raine turned and left.

---

End Chapter Four


	5. Dog Days of Winter

Forgotten Memories, Painful Past

**A/N**: Re: 'magiked.' I realize that magic is spelled with a 'c' but since I made it a verb 'magiced' would have a soft 'c' like in malice. So, I turned it in to a 'k'. I know it looks ugly, but magicked looks even less appealing to me. So, that's the story behind that. I'm not illiterate. Honest. Also, the song in here is by Lonestar. I do not own it.

Chapter Five

Dog Days of Winter

Never in his life could Severus recall waking up with such pleasure. His chambers were warm and comfortable, due to a fire he realized. The bright light of morning filtered in through the chiffon drapes of a magiked window. A pseudo-smile graced his lips a moment before he closed his eyes lazily. His bones were still in rather thorough pain. Albus would be here if he desperately needed to hear the news Severus had. Mmm... Sleep would do him good.

---

Raine woke with a start, realizing she shouldn't have fallen asleep. Luckily, Severus till lay lazily in his bed. Smiling, she stood up. Ouch. Her back was a mess. Her gaze drifted to the window, it must be around eight. A quick shower would do her good but Albus's words rang in her ear. _"Do not leave his side for an instant."_

Her glance skimmed the room, finding the door to his bath chamber. If she left the door open... She would hear him waking. Finally convincing herself, she headed for the shower and shed her nightclothes. The hot water was relaxing as it ran down her bare back. She tilted her head back in to the spray, wetting her hair and letting it cling to her body. Her vibrant green eyes were closed as Raine ran the soap along her body.

A muffled cry arose behind her and she turned around in surprise to see Severus looking extremely uncomfortable. His hand was brought over his eyes in distress. "I hadn't realized someone else was here, I thought the water was running for me..."

Raine laughed softly, "It's quite all right." She was strongly tempted to read his mind and find out what he was thinking but she allowed the man his privacy as she slid in to a pair of black pants and an emerald green blouse. Tying her verdant robes shut, she smiled. "You can open your eyes."

For a moment, he wasn't Professor Snape and she wasn't Professor Sullivan. It was Katya Pietrovich, Ravenclaw Prefect and Severus Snape, Slytherin Prefect. They were both in their seventh year at the Yule Ball. She was asking him for a dance, and he was nervously accepting. Shaking his head, the scene before him shifted back to his shower room. She was Professor Sullivan. "That's a charming color."

"Always were a Slytherin..." She smirked softly and walked out. "Sorry about that. Would you prefer I draw you a bath?"

Severus scowled, "I'm fine."

Raine nodded, waiting in the doorway a minute. "I'll send Dumbledore down." Her eyes lingered on his a moment, "If you want to talk to me, I'll be in my classroom."

He didn't reply, just started unbuttoning his shirt. She walked away.

---

Eventually, Severus did decide to see Katya, after all, he had to hear how his third years had done. Heading up to her classroom, he cracked the door. "I-" he stopped when he heard a sound that hadn't found his ears in several years.

"_Got a picture of you, I carry in my heart,_

_Close my eyes to see it when the world gets dark._

_Got a memory of you, I carry in my soul,_

_I wrap it close around me when the nights get cold._

_If you asked me how I'm doin' I'd say just fine..._

_But the truth is, baby, if you could read my mind..._

_Not a day goes by that I don't think of you.  
After all this time you're still with me it's true.  
Somehow you remain locked so deep inside,  
Baby, baby, oh baby, not a day goes by..."_

"_I still wait for the phone  
in the middle of the night.  
Thinkin' you might call me,  
if your dreams don't turn out right,_

_And it still amazes me that I lie here in the dark  
Wishin' you were next to me,  
your head against my heart._

_If you asked me how I'm doing I'd say just fine,  
But the truth is baby, if you could read my mind..._

_Not a day goes by that I don't think of you.  
After all this time you're still with me it's true.  
Somehow you remain locked so deep inside,  
Baby, baby, oh baby, not a day goes by._

_Minutes turn to hours, and the hours to days  
Seems it's been forever, that I've felt this way...  
Not a day goes by that I don't think of you.  
After all this time you're still with me, it's true.   
Somehow you remain locked so deep inside  
Baby, baby, oh baby, not a day goes by..."_

He watched her as she sang, her eyes closed in passion as those delicate feet of hers moved in motion with the music. It was a muggle song, as he didn't know it, but it was lovely. Her movements, her passion, almost made Severus want to feel that kind of passion. Almost. He did, however, applaud when she finished. Severus had seen her dance before, when they'd been at Hogwarts. It was ballet, and it was beautiful, but Severus no longer paid attention to beauty.

Raine was alarmed by the sound, "I didn't realize I had an audience..." She quickly pulled on a black robe over her emerald green leotard.

"You're even better than I remember..."

She blushed softly, hiding it by tending to the music player. God... Had he listened to the lyrics? Raine frowned, praying he hadn't.

Severus leaned against a desk, clearing his throat and turning to her. "I came to get the final grades for the students... I have to sign off on them..."

Raine watched him, noticing the significant improvement in his pallid skin tone. He was back to his pale greasy self... She smiled with relief and nodded. "Of course." Her hands nimbly searched the thick piles of messily stacked papers on her desk.

He fought back an incredulous look, certain no one could fine anything in that mess of papers. Much to his surprise, she pulled a file out with a smile. Taking it slowly, he nodded softly. "Thank you." Opening the file folder, he read over the grades. "Seventeen Os?" A dark eyebrow arched questioningly.

"Yes," she insecurely pulled her robes tighter about her and looked at the floor. "Your students did splendidly on the final. I had them brew a polyjuice potion and a memory potion..."

His mouth almost fell slack. "_Both?_" Severus was sure they weren't capable of that. "The third years?" She nodded again, not facing him. "And they mostly managed?"

She gave a meek nod in reply. "You're mad."

God, he wanted to swear rather loudly. He'd seen this behavior, it was how she'd been at Hogwarts in the beginning. He approached her uncomfortably and took her chin in his firm hand, forcing her to face him. "I'm not mad, and even if I were, you have nothing to be ashamed of." Damn him. Stupid bastard... Anisim'd done this to her. He refused the snarl building in the back of his throat.

Raine's green eyes withdrew further. "Please, Severus, it is how women are supposed to act."

"Not nobility and not in Britain," he watched her sternly. "I thought you'd rid yourself of that when you left the first time."

"Old habits are hard to break," some of the fire returned to her eyes. "Anisim was an old habit."

"Katya," Severus's touch loosened, almost to a caress. "Don't ever be afraid of me. I never hurt you."

She shook her head, "You were always so thankful, so caring..." Her hand cupped his cheek. "Where did that Severus go? Why was he replaced with such an empty shell?"

Frowning heavily, he turned and fled the room. His black cloak followed him soundlessly as Katarina sunk to the floor against her desk. She sobbed heavily in silence. Her frail frame shook as sobs racked her petite form. Tears slid down her cheeks and soaked her emerald green leotard as her robes hung loosely around her. Cupping her face in her hands, she sniffled. The tears kept coming, for almost a half an hour, she cried.

He had rejected her, as she'd known he would. After eighteen years, who wouldn't? He had rejected her as he had last time... Nineteen years ago. She recalled the day she'd told him of her emanate departure. She had told him she loved him, and that she'd return. Raine had promised to come back for him as soon as everything was sorted out. Well, sorting things out took longer than expected. It was seven years before she even found the time to leave Russia again. She'd visited England, and heard he was teaching at Hogwarts. That's when she'd chickened out... If only she'd gone to see him... Maybe he'd accept her now.

Raine rose, drying her tears and clearing her throat. She wouldn't weep any more about it. She was a grown woman, she had chosen the life of solitude when she rejected her betrothed. From that moment on, she knew there was a large chance she'd be alone forever. Unfortunately, Raine had expected Severus to still want her. Why would he? He had never admitted to wanting her to begin with. She sighed and collected her grades to turn in to Dumbledore. _Don't cry._ She nodded determinedly and walked out of her office.

---

Severus frowned, he'd heard her crying. That was something he hadn't expected. The only other time he'd ever seen her cry was when he'd woken up from the self-inflicted unconsciousness that his suicide attempt had incited. She had cried with joy as she hugged him. Joy. She had wanted him to live. Katya had wanted him to love her, to say he loved her, when she left. He had left her standing in the cold England air. Now, she had wanted nothing more than kind, caring words and he could not even spare that. What thanks was that to the one woman who saved his life?

Shaking his head, he wrote it off his conscience forcefully. Better not to dwell on the past, it was a messy topic. He pulled out a dreamless sleep potion, intent on taking it and falling asleep, when he found Dumbledore in his office. "Yes Albus?"

The older man observed his colleague from above his glasses. "I came down to tell you that there will be a teachers' meeting before the beginning of the next term. On my way down, I found a rather distressed Miss Sullivan."

"Pietrovich... Her last name is Pietrovich. Ekatarina Pietrovich." He frowned. "Why are you mentioning this to me?"

Albus sighed, "Did you have anything to do with it? I can't have a rift in the Order, Severus. You, more than anyone, should realize how important loyalty is. We need to completely trust one another. Voldemort is not going to be defeated easily."

Severus frowned, "I understand that Albus, there is nothing between Katya and I."

"That's the problem. There isn't. You both want to share something, but neither of you will admit it." His blue eyes glimmered wisely.

"Headmaster," he sighed, "Please." Severus removed the stopper to the golden-liquid-filled vial. "Leave Katya's and my past in the past. There is nothing to worry about."

With a weary sigh, Dumbledore stood. "If you won't listen to me... I won't press it any further. The next time the Dark Lord calls you, try and leave a note or something. She was quite distressed when you were suddenly gone."

He watched the Headmaster in disbelief. He was kidding, right? Severus frowned, "You're serious?"

"Yes," he nodded matter-of-factly. Feeling he'd made his point, Dumbledore turned and left.

---

Harry blushed faintly as Hermione kissed him under the mistletoe in the Common Room. "'Mione..." He stammered a moment before kissing her back.

She smiled at him. "Harry, I'm so glad to see you so much happier now." She'd come back a week earlier, without saying why. "I missed you while I was gone."

He chuckled nervously. "I missed you too..." God, he hoped he didn't screw this up like he had messed things up with Cho.

Ron watched from the stairs, his face growing red with anger. Not making a sound, he fled up the stairs to his room. How could Harry? Couldn't he tell that he'd fancied Hermione? He kicked his trunk in frustration. Now he obviously knew that Hermione wouldn't want what he'd bought her for Christmas... How could he have been so stupid? Of course she'd love Harry over him... Ronald Weasley... He was no competition for Harry Potter, The Boy Who Lived. Scowling, he threw himself on his bed and forced sleep upon his weary body.

---

Severus swore he was dreaming. He could smell her perfume again. Then, as he sat at his desk in his chambers, he heard her lilting voice. "I've come to teach you the subtle science and exact art of love-making. As there is little foolish wand-waving here, you may not believe this is magic. I assure you, it is..." Her hands touched his shoulders and he jumped. It wasn't a dream. She was here.

He turned around, finding himself speechless. The Potions Master stood, about to tell her to leave, when she stole a kiss. A short, sweet kiss, but it felt like fire. He'd never admit to anyone how many times he'd envisioned this very scene.

When he opened his mouth to speak, Raine put a finger to her lips to indicate silence. It'd taken her two hours to gather the courage to come down here. She'd planned it all out in her mind, but the moment her eyes took in his visage her fleeting thoughts left her with only one thing to say. Had it worked? She wasn't sure.

"Did the Headmaster speak with you?" Katya nodded as Severus stared straight in to her eyes, their faces only inches apart. "And?"

Raine kissed the corner of his mouth, "I think he is a wise man."

Severus moved to back away, but didn't. "Katya... We've been through this..."

"Anisim..." realization dawned on her, "I rejected him Severus... We were not married, yet you still hold this against me?"

He sighed, "You lied to me and you betrayed me, Katya, of course I hold that against you!"

Raine wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him with all the fervor she could muster before pulling away and staring in to his eyes. "Please don't..."

His first instinct was to slap her, she was trying to seduce him. For some reason, Severus _didn't_ slap her. He paused. "Katya..." Thousands of thoughts raced through his mind. What was he supposed to do? He couldn't kiss her back, he just couldn't. She was Katya and he was Severus, things didn't work like that. He tried to find a logical reason for her actions, and was left with only the deduction that she was illogical.

Distressed about the silence lingering between them, Katya stepped back. "I-uh..." She sighed, "Sorry. I shouldn't have come." The next thing he remembered was seeing her back as she walked out of the room. That was something he immediately regretted... Severus was certain that he'd never have that opportunity again. He sighed, unbuttoning his cloak and shirt before sitting on his bed. Once he was free of his pants, he laid down, staring up at the emerald green canopy. His mind replayed the last twenty minutes over and over. She had been nothing but giving to him since she'd arrived, he'd been nothing but cold.

He rolled over. _Good._ He should be cold, that's what a Slytherin was. No, that's what Severus was. Cold. Stoic. That way, the painful memories couldn't come back to haunt you... He had enough of those already. As his eyes closed, Severus dreamed for the first time in twenty five years or so. He actually dreamed. No nightmares haunted him, and he hadn't taken a dreamless sleep potion, he just _dreamed._ Severus dreamed about Katya. Just because he had to be cold on the outside, didn't mean he could care (just a little) on the inside. Yes, he'd allow Katya just a little space in that dark and rotted heart of his.

---

She'd never been so tempted to quit something in her life. She wanted to leave... Pack up and leave for her homeland. Severus had changed so much. Everything about him... Raine recalled how she'd even seen a warm and sweet side of him when they were students. It had been wonderful. When she'd been betrothed... That fateful winter break... When her world had started plummeting into ruin... He'd been there for her as she had been there for him. Now, that Severus was gone, replaced by this cruel and cold man who was hardly a shell of that once great wizard.

Her green eyes slid shut. _Forget him._ She sighed, trying to sleep. Raine had a distinct feeling she'd have nightmares again. Damn him.

---

The staff meeting came all too soon for Severus's taste. Classes would be starting soon and he still had to speak with two more professors about how his classes had gone. He felt rather unprepared. Now Albus was wasting his time by calling all the teachers together... Katya was there. Dumbledore started out with a soft sighed, "Several parents have asked if anything extra is being done to help students defend themselves with all the talk of the Dark Lord's return." He frowned. "A Ministry official is being sent to monitor Miss Sullivan's classes so that they can be sure she is not teaching the children 'unnecessary magic.'"

Minerva was surprisingly the first to speak up. "This is ridiculous Albus! There must be something we can do! It is _imperative_ that these children know. Their. Spells." Her voice accented the last three words with utmost grievance.

He nodded, "I realize this Minerva, but there is nothing I can do. He or she will be arriving the day before term starts."

Raine shook her head, "Don't worry. They'll learn their spells." She frowned and walked out of the room. When Severus didn't follow her, Minerva did.

---

Harry couldn't figure out why Ron was acting so differently. He hadn't been talking much, not cracking jokes or even arguing with Hermione about S.P.E.W. It worried him. He watched his friend from across the room studying but shook his head and returned to the Potions assignment that Professor McGonagall had assigned them.

"Harry?" Ginny walked over and handed him a scroll of parchment. "Would you read my Defense essay? I figured since you're so good at it..." She blushed.

"Sure." He nodded, "As soon as I finish these last three inches." She smiled and sat in the armchair near his.

Ron stormed out with a menacing glare. Harry looked to Hermione, clueless. She shrugged, but rose and followed him out.

---

"Ekatarina..." Minerva entered her office. "You need to calm down. If you're rash about this, it'll only brew trouble."

Raine frowned, Minerva had always called her by her full name at school... "I know..." She sighed. "It's just, this is ludicrous! I-" She was tongue-tied. "I have to do something."

Professor McGonagall nodded. "I realize that." She sat down in a second chair she'd magiked in. "You have to think this through before you act. When the Ministry is involved, you have to be particularly meticulous."

"The children told me that they started their own group the year before... When Professor Umbridge refused to teach them anything. I could allow that to start over, giving one of the students a weekly schedule."

Minerva looked deathly serious, "Do you have any enemies among our students?"

Raine hadn't thought about it. She was sure Malfoy and his miscreants didn't like her. "It's a possibility."

She nodded. "They'll either have to be exempt, or we'll have to make sure nothing points back to you."

"I can do that." She smiled, "I know enough jinxs, hexes and charms to make Remus think twice."

McGonagall chuckled, "So I recall." She nodded, "Alright. Harry or Miss Granger should keep the roster. They are both thoroughly resourceful and can manage a way to keep it all discrete."

Raine stared at her desk, in awe of it all. Hogwarts had changed so much... The _world_ had changed... When she'd been young, no one doubted Voldemort's reign. Now, people were denying he was back. Why risk it? She didn't understand the Ministry anymore. Thank God she wasn't under their jurisdiction. "That's another thing..." She grinned, "All they can do is fire me. I have diplomatic immunity against any other charges."

"Yes," Minerva stood, "Well, let us hope that it does not come to that. Good-day." She nodded politely and walked out.

---

"Ron!" Hermione yelled unabashedly down the corridor, "Ronald Weasley!"

The red-head spun around on his heel. "WHAT?"

Taking a moment to catch her breath, Hermione frowned. "What is wrong with you? Why are you acting so ridiculous?"

"_I'm_ acting _ridiculous_?" He repeated in a raised voice. "_Me?_" He shook his head, his red hair becoming even more disheveled. "I'm not the one coming back to _school_ early from a bloody ski trip just to see the famous Harry Potter!" His cheeks glowered angrily.

Hermione put a hand on her hip, bearing an all too familiar resemblance to a furious Mrs. Weasley that Ron had encountered numerous times before. "Is that what this is all about?"

Ron narrowed his eyes as much as he could, "What d'you mean?"

"All this... It's about Harry and I? You saw me kiss him... Is that it?" Ron nodded, feeling slightly sheepish. "Ron," she took a few steps towards him and her voice softened, "Harry and I decided that we're just friends."

He stood there a moment, rather resembling a dog with its tongue hanging out and its head cocked to the side. "Friends?" he said doubtfully. Could he have missed all this in his haste to anger? Quite possibly. Wow, he felt awfully foolish.

Hermione nodded. "Yes, Ron, friends."

"Why?"

Her lovely cheeks flushed softly and she hid behind her wavy hair. "It's complicated."

Ron couldn't squash his hopes. "D'you think you could ever like me?"

For a moment Ron was worried that Hermione might do something girly (like faint) and he moved closer in case he had to catch her. She blushed. "I don't think that'd be too hard since I already do."

A face that had previously been red in anger was now hued with embarrassment. "You're serious?"

She nodded eagerly.

"Wicked." He grinned.

Hermione didn't scold his ridiculous response, she was rather speechless herself. Clearing her throat, she smiled. "They'll probably be wondering what happened to us."

Ron nodded, "Right." The two walked back in to the Common Room side by side.

---

Severus found Raine in an empty dungeon classroom bent contently over a cauldron. "Have you figured out a way around this Ministry personnel?"

Raine's voice wasn't as fiery as usual. "Yes." She didn't look up at him either.

"Good. I was worried I'd have to assign every student 'remedial potions.'" He sighed when she didn't laugh. "What're you brewing?"

"What's it to you?"

Severus frowned, "Just curious."

Raine sighed and stopped stirring it. "This is a batch of dreamless draught." She pointed to the cauldron on her left, "That is an awakening draught." Her eyes lingered on the potion stewing on her right. "And that one is solely experimental."

"Experimental?" he repeated.

"Private," she clarified hastily. "So unless you're willing to fetch me some vials, I would like to be left alone."

Severus smirked dryly, "You're the one in _my_ classroom."

Raine frowned. "It's an empty classroom. It's not _yours_," she retorted. Her wand moved to summon a tray of vials. Severus stopped them. She glared at him and called them again.

He watched her, challenging her. "As you say."

She filled the vials and practically pushed past him. "Leave me be Severus, you've had your fun."

"I receive little to no pleasure from dealing with you Miss Pietrovich."

"Sullivan," she corrected. "I don't need students finding that out like the last time." Raine smiled softly.

Severus gave her an expression that said he was hardly amused. "You always try to be friendly. Why is that? You hate me, and if you don't, you should."

Raine shook her head, "I'm not always friendly... You're always cold. Why is _that_?"

He frowned again, "You have your potions, don't you have someplace else to be?"

"As a matter of fact, I do." She nodded politely, as if he hadn't even insulted her, and left.

God, this year was going too slow. Severus sat at his desk, his head in his hands in an attempt to qualm the throbbing sensation in his temples that refused to cease. It didn't surprise him that his conversation with Katya had ended in a headache on his part. That was usually the case.

"Professor Snape?"

Oh, bloody hell. Was today truly Torture Severus Day and he'd been uninformed? _Obviously,_ he stressed. "Enter."

Harry Potter sighed heavily and trudged in to the classroom as if he was carrying his own casket to be buried alive in. "Professor Sullivan said that you were well enough to handle my Occulmency lessons again."

_Revenge is sweet..._ He was almost amused at Katya's subtle stab at him. "Of course I'm well enough, Potter. Have you been practicing?"

"I've been trying, Sir." _Trying to convince Miss Sullivan to continue teaching me._ He frowned.

Severus smirked, "Good, then you'll be ready for this." He took out his wand. Harry's frown only deepened.

_In the name of all that is magical..._ He'd seen Harry curled up in his dormitory, crying. He'd seen Raine talking to him, holding him. Just like she'd held him... Severus was silent for several moments. She was in his dormitory, that was enough to get her removed from Hogwarts... No, he couldn't do that. He was above all those nasty tricks people like Lucius Malfoy used.

Harry was flustered and almost angry that Professor Snape had seen that. Luckily, Snape seemed distracted afterward, telling him that he was improving and that his lesson would end early. Harry was shocked at the compliment and hurried out before the instructor could retract it.

---

"Miss Sullivan?"

Raine sat up groggily, pulling away one of the royal blue bed curtains, "Albus?" She glanced around. The Headmaster wasn't in her room. '_Oh,_' she thought, '_Of course he isn't!'_ Climbing out of bed, she slid on a robe and muttered the password to unlock her chambers. "Yes?"

Albus didn't look as jovial as usual, in fact, he looked down right displeased. "There is someone here to see you."

_'Who?'_ She mouthed with an expression of pure confusion.He cleared his throat, watching her from above his glasses. "A ministry official."

'_Oh God...'_ Her head sank and she frowned deeply. Shaking her head, she mumbled, "All right. I'll be down shortly." She disappeared back in to her personal chambers.

---

End Chapter Five


	6. Babysitting Hogwarts

Forgotten Memories, Painful Past

Chapter Six

Babysitting Hogwarts

* * *

"Ah, Miss Sullivan." Raine examined the man who's just addressed her as she entered the Great Hall. "I'm Mr. Cornwell." She immediately disliked him. This 'Mr. Cornwell' was probably two inches short of Raine's 5'7" stature with greying hair at his temples and crown. His skin was a pinkish shade of white concealed by an overgrown beard and abnormally long and protrusive sideburns. Oh, she _hated_ him. His potbelly and snaky grin only added to the loathing.

Taking a deep breath and recalling her mother's words from when she was young, she extended her hand politely. "I'm Miss Raine Sullivan." When he started to shake her hand, she pulled it away. "You'll probably know me as Lady Ekatarina Pietrovich," she frowned down at him.

Mr. Cornwell nodded, "My apologies, Lady," he kissed her hand diplomatically. "You may call me Erik."

"Of course, Mr. Cornwell. I suppose you are the one here to inspect my classes." Her voice was as loathsome as if Snape had spoken the words for her.

He nodded, "That's correct."

She gave a possessive glare, "Then I'll expect you not to interrupt and to be prompt." Raine nodded politely to the Headmaster before walking to the Head table. Severus watched her.

"A bit territorial, aren't we?"

Raine sat down and began eating, not recognizing Severus at all. Raising the glass of apple juice to her lips, she turned to Flitwick. "When are the rest of the children returning?"

Flitwick smiled up at her, finishing a bite of pancakes. "Tonight, just before dinner for the most part."

Severus frowned, "Don't be daft, I know you can hear me. Don't tell me this is about two nights ago?"

"Thank you," she continued with a smile to Fillius before taking a dainty bite of her own crepe.

Sighing, he spoke a bit louder. "I'm sure Albus spoke with you as well and you know fair well that you cannot let what happened between us two nights' past divide the Order."

Hissing angrily, Raine rose from her seat in a storm of fury and fled the room. Her refuge was the observatory. As if instinctively led, she found her way up the ladder and to the railing where she'd sat on numerous occasions as a student. How could he say those things aloud? She was certain every teacher took it in the more inappropriate way. Wait until he saw Eva and Serviath... She frowned. Maybe she should send them back? No, she'd promised them they could come to England with her.

"I'm sorry," Severus said softly.

"Don't lie..." She said in an icy tone.

Letting out a heavy sigh, he approached her. "Remember the last time we were up here together?"

Raine nodded, wanting to cry at the memory. It'd been so picturesque. "Why do you remind me of the past and then leave me spurned to dream of a future?"

He frowned, "Katya... I once cared for you. Things have changed, but that doesn't mean I don't still delight in the memory."

"Don't let it be a bloody memory then!" She demanded, turning to him desperately.

Severus shook his head, "Don't do this to us, Katya... To our memory!"

Raine closed her eyes as two small tears trickled down her cheeks. "What am I supposed to tell them?"

He arched an inquisitive eyebrow, "Them?"

She shook her head, wiping the tears away. "I don't want to ruin our memory." With that, she vanished down the ladder and headed for her room.

"Them..." Severus repeated contemplatively.

---

Classes started again without fail. Two new students started in the middle of the semester. They were in their sixth year, transferring from another school. Not much else was explained. Serviath and Eva Marcus were placed in to Gryffindor and Slytherin respectively. Eva was a wonderfully intelligent and curious student. She often asked advanced questions and begged Professor Snape to lend her outside reading. He had to admit, if Draco hadn't been in the same class, he might've had a new favorite student.

She had long dark hair that fell past her shoulders in faint waves and distinct green eyes that reminded him eerily of Katya. He blinked as he realized that a student was questioning him. It was her twin. Serviath. "Yes, Mister Marcus?"

He repeated the question about interchanging ingredients. '_Bright boy...' _He noted, examining his tousled red hair and dark brown eyes. What an odd combination. Those two looked nothing alike... Except for their lovely milky skin.

"It's possible. The newt's eye would make it more potent but it would also make the taste beyond unbearable," the professor said snidely. "You should've read that in chapter fourteen. We worked on that in September..."

Much to the professor's dismay, Serviath only apologized and returned to his seat. After another ten minutes or so, he dismissed the class and headed up to lunch earlier. He walked down the hall, hearing a loud female voice in the Defense classroom. He peered in to see Katya lecturing.

"No, Miss Weasley, you're confusing the two. Trolls, while dangerous, are not as large _or_ as territorial as giants." She stood and walked around her desk. "You've all seen the Care of Magical Creatures teacher? Hagrid?" The students nodded eagerly. "He's half giant. While trolls are about ten feet tall... Giants can reach twenty easily."

Several mouths fell open. Severus paused, listening further. One child raised his hand. "How do you defend against a werewolf?"

A soft smile crossed Raine's lips. "Well, Mister Clearwater, if your offending werewolf is female, it's best to merely stand still. She'll probably leave you be. As for the more aggressive males, it's best to stun them and apparate. If you can't apparate, stun it and use the _Solara_ charm to summon sunlight. This will either cause reversal of the transformation temporarily or knock them out for a significant amount of time. I must note that it is extremely painful for the werewolf though, and if the werewolf is your friend I would recommend refraining from that solution."

A soft smirk crossed his lips. She was talking about Remus. Brock Clearwater, a Hufflepuff, grinned. "Thanks."

Setting down her book, she nodded. "Well done class. Next class we'll be outside again, so remember to practice your spells. Dismissed."

The students poured out, several Gryffindors minded the Potions Master wearily. "You're a brilliant teacher, you know that?"

Raine spun around, surprised that someone was still in the classroom she'd assumed was empty. "From someone who's been teaching for so long, that's quite the compliment."

Her formality stung him unnoticeably. "I wasn't saying it as a teacher, I was saying it as a friend."

She returned to her desk, no longer facing him. "Well, thank you nonetheless."

"Katya..."

"Raine," she corrected swiftly, "Call me Raine. Actually, you can call me Miss Sullivan."

Severus frowned, "So this is how it will end with us, is it?"

Her green eyes stared in to his fiercely, "Evidently so. You made your choice, Severus, now I have every right to make mine."

He noticed her packing things in to a box. "You're _leaving?_"

Raine let out a heavy sigh, "I'm not sure."

"You can't leave!"

She gave him a hopeful look. "Oh?"

Severus cleared his throat, "The students would never learn anything without you..."

"Ah," she finished. "Severus, I'm sorry but things are not working out..."

"Who were you talking about?" he questioned.

Raine arched a red eyebrow, "What?"

Severus sighed softly, "In the astronomy tower, you said something about 'them'... Who were you talking about?"

She frowned deeply. Was she caught?

* * *

End Chapter Six


	7. Forgotten Memories

Forgotten Memories, Painful Past

Chapter Seven

Forgotten Memories

* * *

Katya shook her head softly, "It is no matter, Severus. You were my friend and my confidant and my lover... I would like that memory to remain amiable."

He frowned, not accepting this as an answer. "If you trusted me then, why not trust me now?"

"Because you hurt me!" she shot accusingly, spinning around. Her hair flung around and in to her face before calming back to its previous position. "Dammit, Severus, you hurt me..." she repeated in a faint whisper.

That was one thing he had not quite expected. He had not thought their sudden split eighteen years ago had hurt _her_. Was that selfish of him? "Who were you talking about?"

Raine watched him, tears dangling perilously along her bottom eyelid. "Eva and Serviath."

His brow furrowed, "The new transfer students? What about them?"

"Their last name... It's false. I was going to register them under Pietrovich but I knew you and the other teachers would know..."

"Pietrovich," he repeated, letting it all sink in. Gulping heavily at all the haunting doors this revelation threw open, he stormed out of the room. His cloak waved good-bye as he vanished through the doorway.

Spending several moments composing herself, Miss Sullivan headed down to lunch. She had given Serviath the newest plans for the secret class, he was to relay them to Harry via Ron, who he'd become rather fond of. The boys, being two of maybe seven red-heads in their entire class, naturally fit well. Serviath was more intellectual, so it was easy to mediate between Miss Granger and Mr. Weasley. A smile cracked over Raine's lips, she was glad Serviath had found good friends. Eva, on the other hand, worried her desperately. Miss Bullstrode and Miss Parkinson were not her prime picks for Eva to befriend. Hopefully, she would not go near Draco Malfoy. Raine shuddered at the though. Lucius had done so much damage... Draco would be no different.

Taking her mind off her worries, she put on a grand smile and walked in to the Hall. Seating herself at the head table, she ignored Mr. Cornwell's sharp eye. Bastard. If he thinks he can come to Hogwarts and tinker with her curriculum... He had another thing coming. "Illegitimati." Severus smirked beside her, having heard her brash comment uttered hastily in anger. He also happened to have paid attention when they studied Latin their last year for fun... She couldn't help but laugh softly.

She would stay. She had to. For the students, for Dumbledore, and for Severus. Whether he would admit it or not, she got the feeling that Severus was going to need her, very soon.

The two sat next to one another at the head table, but not a single word passed between them. Raine busied herself through lunch to hurry to her class.

---

Pulling out the class's books she'd stored, she placed one on each desk.

"It is good to see you are teaching from the text now, Miss Sullivan."

Raine spun around to see Mr. Cornwell. "I doubt you will be pleased when the nature of the lesson is revealed." She finished passing them out as the second year Ravenclaws filed in. She sat at her desk, back perfectly straight and awaited their silence. "Today, we will start off with our first offensive spell. The Disarmament Charm, followed by the summing charm." She watched Mr. Cornwell's pink hued skin blanch, much to her amusement. "If you will all pick up the book before you and carry outside. Don't forget your wands, move along now..."

---

Severus watched Eva and Serviath closely as they sat on opposite sides of the room. Eva was next to Pansy, and Serviath was with Mr. Weasley. At least Granger had given up on the fool to try and aide Mr. Potter. Those eyes, they had reminded him of Katya's... With good reason. He observed Serviath's hair. A darker red than his mother's, but familiar nonetheless. Snape wondered how it had eluded him to begin with. Looking at them both, it was rather obvious. The one aspect that pestered him, however, was not so evident. Who was their father? It could be him... Though he doubted (and prayed) that they were not his children.

What child would want a father after eighteen years of his absence? Sighing, he stood to scold Neville for another failed potion. He didn't want kids, and teaching these classes was always a thorough reminder of such. Children required compassion and patience, both traits that ran short in his bloodline. Snape did not regret it one minute. "Well done, Miss Marcos, please bottle your potion and store it." Draco was finishing as well, Hermione was already in the storage closet putting it away. Not bad for a transfer student, not bad at all. Serviath finished after Pansy and Seamus.

"Class dismissed," he murmured when Neville finally finished. Hells, if they could get it done with twenty minutes left of class, why not give them the day off? He had too much on his mind to come up with an alternative anyway.

The surprised looks on his pupils' faces did not escape him as he retreated to his office and they began to slowly collect their things.

---

"What do you think is going on with Snape?" Ron queried as Hermione followed him out of the classroom. Harry had come up with some excuse to dash off rather quickly ahead of them already.

Hermione shrugged her shoulders, "I'm not sure. I doubt he was being nice, more likely lazy."

Ron laughed, "The day he's nice to a Gryffindor class..."

"Is the day Professor Sullivan is mean to a Ravenclaw?" Serviath chuckled as he came up behind them.

His two new friends laughed. "Something like that," Hermione sighed softly.

Ron took her hand. "Do you want to eat or go up to the observatory first?"

Her cheeks were blushing and Serviath noted that this would be the ideal time to take his leave. "Let's go watch the sun set."

He grinned, "Sounds lovely."

---

"Hey, where were you after class?" Serviath was surprised to stumble upon Harry in the Hall.

Harry grinned, blushing softly. "Promise not to tell Ron?"

The red-head nodded. "On my honor."

"I went to see Ginny."

Serviath looked confused, "I thought you two dated a few years back... Hermione was talking about it..."

Harry nodded, "She liked me... But she started dating other guys. Now, things finally fell in to place... I hope."

Chuckling, he patted Harry's shoulder. "I am happy for you, regardless of how Ron takes it."

"How I take what?"

Harry gulped. "Uh-"

Serviath turned to him swiftly, "I'm going to steal him away from your nightly Quidditch practice so we can discuss the DA."

"Oh," Ron nodded softly. "That's fine with me, I was going to cancel myself, Hermione and I are going to spend some time together."

Harry was still rather off-kilter from the adrenaline rush his near brush with death-by-Ron had caused. "Um, right, have fun." He looked to Serviath. "Quick thinking."

Serviath shrugged nonchalantly, a soft smile on his face. "I'm used to it, I was raised to handle any potential situation with utmost proficiency and discretion."

His brow furrowed, green eye's locking on Serviath's blue ones. "What d'you mean?"

He cleared his throat, "My family's rather prominent in Spain, you know, you learn all the aristocratic duties and the like..."

Harry accepted this answer, seeing little reason to delve deeper in to the matter. "So... Is there anything you really need to talk about regarding the DA?"

"No," he shook his head, "But, I _do_ want to ask you something. Do you think that Professor Snape fancies Katya?"

"Katya?" Harry looked thoroughly confused.

Serviath frowned, "Raine." He sighed, "Professor Sullivan." He hated the fact that his mother was using his grandfather's name. His grandfather had been an Irish nobleman, betrothed to his grandmother as recompense for a debt magic Russia owned Ireland. Albeit his grandfather _and_ grandmother were murdered, mother had never said anything positive about his grandfather. She looked like him though... And he had his hair. He could like to know, though, where Eva got her black hair... Who their father was had remained a mystery since birth.

"Not to my knowledge, there's been loads of gossip about it though." Harry's voice brought the new Gryffindor back to reality.

He merely nodded. "I certainly hope they're false."

Harry looked confused, yet again. "Why?"

Serviath shrugged it off, "Never mind, what do you say we head to dinner? Maybe Ginny will be there," he jested.

A soft blushed tinted Harry's cheeks but he nodded, "Hopefully."

---

Raine's eyes managed to focus again, staring at least a half a dozen students of varying Houses, McGonagall and Severus. "What?" Her breathing was still slightly quick.

"You were screaming like a banshee," Minerva looked bewildered and concerned.

Shutting her green eyes a moment, Raine saw the blood again. A puddle of it... All around him. She thought he was dead. _'Severus!'_ Blinking again, she bit her lip. "I'm sorry, it was just a terrible nightmare..."

The students looked a bit spooked by their rather stern teacher's episode. Severus bit down firmly on his lower lip and departed from the room. McGonagall led her in to her office and shut the door, putting a few silence charms up. "Explain yourself Miss Sullivan, you gave the entire hall quite a scare..."

"I must've fallen asleep on my desk last night... And I woke up screaming from a nightmare... I am terribly sorry, Minerva. I did not mean any harm... I cannot help my dreams..."

The older woman nodded understandingly. "Of course not, but you'd best take a dreamless potion tonight, just in case."

Nodding in agree, Katya flushed. "I really did not intend to cause such a ruckus."

Smiling softly at her, she winked. "Just don't do it again, what's left of poor Severus's heart might not be able to take another ear-piercing scream like that."

She raised an eyebrow but could not voice a question before McGonagall managed to slip out. Had Severus reacted? Oh never mind it, she still had to find Serviath and Eva before breakfast. Perhaps she could just go to the Gryffindor Tower, Serviath could notify his sister on his own. Rising to her feet and ignoring the dizzying sensation that overcame her, she headed for the tower.

---

"Do you think she's all right?" He asked curiously.

Blinking a moment, Eva turned to Draco. "Who?"

He sneered, "The new teacher, Miss Sullivan."

She shrugged nonchalantly, "She caused a scene, but who hasn't? I mean... Look at the Headmaster." It had taken Eva only moments to understand exactly how to blend in to Slytherin house. Act arrogant, be rude and never tell the truth. The three simples rules of being a Slytherin... She smiled softly. "Maybe she'll be nicer in class today, I think we deserve it."

Draco growled, "No kidding. I'm sick of her biased bullshit." The teacher they were discussing walked in to the room, taking her seat. She looked rather frazzled.

Eva sighed, "I've heard so much about her and Severus going around, is she... A follower?"

He watched her a long moment, wondering how much information to trust her with. She _was_ a Slytherin. "I'm not sure. I doubt it... Though Snape will likely turn her, he's a loyal man."

She smirked, "Of course." In truth, her stomach turned nauseatingly. God, she prayed their Potions Master wasn't the man Draco thought he was.

* * *

_Finite._

Sorry this took so long, next chapter is already on it's way. In fact, I got a muse for the chapter after that too, so it's even started.


	8. The Root of all Evil

Forgotten Memories, Painful Past

Chapter Eight

The Root of All Evil

Hermione watched Harry with concern as they scribbled down notes in history, "You okay, Harry?"

Taking his green eyes from the parchment long enough to eye Hermione, he nodded. "Better than you'd expect, really. I haven't thought about-" He sighed, "I'm doing better."

Ron was frantically following Hermione's writing as Professor Binn's temporary replacement ranted like a mad-man about the goblin uprising. For once, he missed Binn's slow droll!

From the other side of the classroom, Draco smirked as he enchanted his pen to take notes for him. He had better things on his mind, his father had told him that another teacher at Hogwarts was being inducted in to the Death Eaters tonight. A chill ran up his spine, it was perfect. He'd been in since the summer, and now there'd be another to spy on Dumbledore? That smug smirk was going to remain on his lips for a long while. If only he could figure out which professor it was.

Eva sighed, "I never should've taught you that."

He chuckled, "At least I put it to good use."

"True, true." She smiled at him. "What has you in such a fine mood?"

Draco's grey eyes glittered with malice and pure sadistic pleasure, "There's a meeting tonight."

Eva smirked back at him, "Tell me all about it when you come back?"

He nodded enthusiastically, "Of course. When are you going to join, anyway?"

She bit her lip, "I'm not sure I can. I'll be sent back to Russia when term ends... I _can_ apparate but my family demands quite a deal from me as well.

Draco gave her a skeptically understanding nod, "I'll speak with my father, maybe he can arrange something."

"Terrific," she grinned.

Serviath, on the other hand, did not look so thrilled. He leaned in next to Harry. "What do you suppose their talking about?"

Harry shrugged, "Couldn't say."

He sighed. "I wish I knew, she's really not cut out for Slytherin."

"I wouldn't worry," he finished the notes, "You can talk to her at the meeting on Friday."

Hells, it was almost Friday. Two more days. Serviath rolled up his parchment, he didn't want to wait that long, but he'd have to. "I have to see Professor Sullivan about something. I'll see you both at lunch." He slid out before Mr. Cornwell, the stand in, could notice.

---

Katya was thrilled to have Mr. Cornwell out of her hair for two days. Professor Binns had taken two days of personal time, though she could hardly figure out what a ghost might do with personal time... Beaming brightly, she explained to the second years how to face a boggart. She knew they were a bit young, but she had to get this done with all her students while Mr. Cornwell was absent.

"Now, all of you, the most important thing to understand is that must remember the images you see are not real." She turned to the first student, Erika Reynolds. "What is your biggest fear?"

The second year gripped her wand tightly, "I'm afraid of werewolves, Professor."

She smiled softly, "Lycanthropes? Really?" Her eyes seemed to flicker with amusement. The girl merely nodded. "Now what's something that would make that werewolf completely harmless?"

"If it had no teeth, like my gramps!" A young boy in the back called out.

Erika laughed, but nodded. "If it didn't have any teeth."

Professor Sullivan opened the chest. "Remember, riddikulus."

A werewolf jumped out, snarling and snapping at the gaggle of second years that stared in awe. Erika shrieked, looking desperately at Professor Sullivan as the beast approached her. When her teacher merely shook her head, Erika sighed. After a moment's hesitation, she pointed her wand. "_Riddikulus!"_

The class applauded as the werewolf whimpered softly, it's lips curling in without his fangs. Raine smiled softly, watching them before sending them each up in turn to attack the boggart.

---

"Ten points from Gryffindor, Mr. Jordan." Professor Snape loomed over Lee Jordan with a heavy frown before heading up to the front of the class, a hand gripping his right forearm firmly. "When you are done with your potions, you may store them and leave. I have something I must tend to, my apologies."

Hermione and Harry watched in surprise as Severus walked out. "What's going on?"

Harry frowned, "He's calling him... That's all I can think it to be."

---

Severus growled as he ran in to Katya. She smiled, "Where are you off to when you have a class?"

He raised an eyebrow, "I could ask you the same, Katya."

She smiled, "I'm in a hurry, otherwise I might explain." Fat chance. She hurried off down the hall.

Professor Snape watched her a moment before sighing with exasperation and hurrying towards the Whomping Willow. He very well couldn't sneak down the passageway in his room, right in front of his class, to apparate and thankfully, he'd discovered this passage three years ago. He was indebted to Harry Potter for that one thing. Severus made it through, apparating instantly.

---

Eva was alarmed when she found Professor Sullivan and Professor Snape _both_ missing. She knew where Snape was, but Miss Sullivan? She made straight for Dumbledore's office during lunch. "Headmaster Dumbledore?"

The wise man looked up from some paperwork, "Yes, my dear?"

She sat in a chair before his desk, wringing her hands nervously. "My mum's gone... Along with Professor Snape." She took a breath, "Now, I've talked to Malfoy, so I know where Snape is... But my mum?"

Albus put down his quill, "Miss Marcus, I cannot tell you where Miss Sullivan is. I have a feeling I know, but even if I told you, I could be wrong and would have only caused you worry. Now, I am certain she will not miss another day of class. Hurry down and enjoy lunch. Do not worry about your mother, I'm sure she is in good company."

Eva watched him a moment, as if hoping that he'd say something more. "Thank you, Headmaster." Standing, she sighed. Serviath would want to see what she found out, or lack there of, really. Eva decided to meet him in the library nonetheless, maybe McGonagall had told _him_ something.

---

For the fifth night this month, the DA met in the room of requirement. Harry grinned. "It's good to see you all again. In light of the absence of two of our best teachers, we've deduced that something big is happening. We want to make sure we're prepared."

Dean Thomas looked up, "When will they be back?"

Serviath stood up, "I spoke with McGonagall and she said she wasn't sure. Headmaster Dumbledore said the same thing, but Eva's heard some terrible news from Slytherins. She said one Slytherin mentioned a Death Eater gathering tonight. She said there officially accepting five new members."

Several gasps, whispers and gulps were heard among the group. Hermione stood, "I got a book from the restricted section, with Professor Sullivan's permission. It's got some new spells I think we should all try." She pulled out an immensely thick tome and smiled. "There are some I've never even heard of. Stronger spells, defensive spells and even counter-curses."

The whispers grew louder, several students eagerly drew their wands. Harry nodded, "Let's get started."

---

Severus watched the woman's mask closely, trying to figure out who Lucius was introducing. Her hair was hidden under the mask, and her eyes weren't visible. Sighing, he decided to wait for a name. His mind wandered back to his classes, he would have to be back in time for his first class tomorrow and the sun was already rising.

"I accept," the soft voice had a firm intonation as the woman nodded and bowed before the Dark Lord. Keeping his stoic appearance, Severus sighed inwardly. That made thirty-one. A terrible knot was brewing in his stomach.

"Now, Severus," the Dark Lord bellowed. "Tell us what you have found about the goings on at Hogwarts."

Stepping forward, he bowed to his 'master.' His eyes were on the ground in what most would assume was respect, but he knew to be repulsion. The disgusting man before him was nothing to be respected, admired or followed. Damn him. He stood, "A new ministry official has been sent to monitor the Defense Against the Dark Arts class. I have also been keeping a close eye over the Professor, making sure most of her lessons are on fickle and unimportant things. Albus has not called a staff meeting, or made a single announcement of any sort. The other Professors are on high alert, but as far as I can tell, they are clueless. Some still do not believe you have returned, falling for the Ministry's cover-up."

The Dark Lord looked pleased at this news, "Thank you, Severus. Your loyalty is invaluable to me, I am pleased to hear of your findings and look forward to another report shortly."

Lucius began his babble on how he'd kept the Ministry wrapped around his finger while the incident this past summer started to blow over. Severus's mind wandered, struggling to figure out who the new member was. Professor Binns had taken two personal days, perhaps he was speaking with Malfoy? What would Voldemort want with a ghost? Besides, the inductee was female. With a resigned frown, he decided to wait. When she made her first kill, her name would be announced. That's how it always was. So he would wait, and a muggle or mudblood would die for his incompetence. What was one mudblood compared to all the ones he'd killed in the past to get this far? One life was something to care about when he'd killed so many without so much as a second thought?

---

Severus's heart was heavy when he laid down in his bed that evening. His mind swam with thoughts, mostly thoughts of what a terrible person he'd been. He wondered if it was even worth trying to repent. He'd been cold, cruel and heartless. Is that how he wanted people to remember him? Watching the Dark Lord kill a traitorous Death Eater today had been a bit of a wake up call. What if he died next? Would it all be in vain? His armed burned, but it wasn't the Mark this time... It was the scar. All the way up his left arm, a huge scar. People wondered why he was always so thoroughly robed... Wasn't it evident?

Closing his eyes, he decided to retire himself to sleep. "Severus?" Hells, what was she doing in here? How'd she get in? He pulled his bed curtain away. Shit, she was a mess.

Katya fell to her knees on the floor, her hands covering her face. "I'm so sorry..."

He knelt beside her, ignoring the fact that he was wearing only his boxers. "Sorry for what?"

"I am sorry I left you. I'm sorry I didn't stay, I'm sorry I never did anything about your parents..." She was sobbing, and it was obvious she hadn't eaten in a while. His first instinct had been to say something cruel, something cold and something to hurt her, to make her leave him alone. Then he say Avery's eyes as the Dark Lord murmured those infamous words. No, he would not be like that. He was not like that monster, that sick creature.

"Katya," he pulledthe woman up against him as she sobbed. It felt odd, but familiar nonetheless. He sighed, "It is all right. That is in the past." She was still weeping about this? He closed his eyes, did he cause every one around him such pain?

She looked up at him, "Severus... They're yours..." Her lips trembled in an attempt to hold back tears as realization dawned on the Potions Master. They're yours... They were his... He wrapped his arms around her tighter, trying to get her to calm down as he digested the information. Hells, they were his.

_Finite._

Okay, it's like bloody six am here, I just pulled an all-nighter to get this done since no one reviewed the last chapter. Maybe someone will review this one? Please? Anyway, thanks for reading.


	9. Welcome to the Club

Forgotten Memories, Painful Past

A/N: All spells that aren't seen in the book with be translated at the end of the chapter, I'm studying/taking Latin so I might get creative.

Mint- thanks for giving me that heads up about the time error. Watch as my awesome godly authoress-ness makes it all better! BWAHAHA!

---

Chapter Nine

Welcome to the Club

Harry sat up straight in bed, his scar burning like never before. What was going on? It usually hurt when a Death Eater was summoned from Hogwarts... But that usually entailed McGonagall coming in to check on him because Severus had vanished. He waited a few moments but McGonagall did not come, nor did anyone else. Slowly... Painstakingly... The ache in his head began to ease. He was tempted to rise and speak with Dumbledore on the matter, but with Ginny laying peacefully beside him, he couldn't. Ron was snoring contently, as were the rest of the occupants.

Sighing resignedly, he closed his eyes to go back to sleep when it flared again. Cringing, he clamped his eyes shut and waited for it to pass. It was a good three minutes. Something was very wrong. Voldemort was furious. People were dying. Unfortunately, Harry knew that all he could do was wait and read about it in the Daily Prophet tomorrow. That fact made it no easier to sleep.

---

"_Pacem spiritus_," he whispered. He couldn't understand a word she said until she calmed down. A moment of silence was only hindered by sobs. "How old?" Severus asked, holding her, still numb with shock.

Katya looked up at him, confused a moment before wiping her eyes. "Seventeen, they'll be eighteen in March."

Severus sighed, "Eighteen..." He picked her up, setting her in a chair near his bed. "Then why are they in sixth year?"

"Ours schools in Russia are different, remember? I knew how to apparate when I came to Hogwarts... But I didn't know a thing about Herbology or how to fly a broom. Our Potions and Defense classes were much more in depth and Ancient Ruins was required. Dumbledore thought it best to put them in that year, after speaking with them." She wouldn't look him in the eye, too ashamed to do so.

He tried to keep his emotions hidden, Dumbledore had known about his children before he had? "Does he know?" That would explain the way Albus had acted after he'd returned from his last meeting with Voldemort.

Katya dried her eyes again, "I'd imagine. The man is too wise not to know..." She took a shaky breath.

Severus lit the fire in his dusty and rarely-used fireplace. This was true, Albus knew everything. "It's okay. Calm down."

"I'm so sorry, Severus." She took his hands in hers.

Frowning, the Potions Master pulled away and stood. He helped her to her feet and froze. Something had caught his eye. "Katya..." he said it in a voice that begged her to prove him wrong. He took her right hand in his, unbuttoning the cuff before she could pull away.

Katya tried to get free, "Let go!" Hells, he couldn't see it. Not now... Not ever. She wasn't ready to explain it to him. She hadn't even thought of how to explain it yet...

Rage swam in the air around him, like thunder that travels throughout a cloud. Katya was pulling away from him instinctively, but Severus had already seen what mattered. That blemish on her lovely porcelain skin, the ugliest of symbols and a sign of the most treacherous of allegiances. "How could you!?" The usually stoic and acerbic voice of the Potion's Master was fully of loathing and astonishment.

She sank to her knees before him, "Severus! I can explain!" She tried to pull away, ashamed of herself.

"Katya," as his eyes took in her pitiful form begging for forgiveness at his feet, his anger dissipated. "Katya..." He repeated her name like some sort of haunted and disbelieving mantra as his eyes locked on the source of her shame, her blazing scarlet letter. Blinking finally, a tear slid down his face like a piece of fragile glass that held the entire world in its contents.

The startled woman wasn't sure what to do or say, how to react. Had the cold-hearted man she'd spent her entire time here trying to defrost just show emotion? A tear, no less? Straining herself not to cry, she brushed his tear from his pale cheek. She hadn't meant for him to find out like this. Never.

"How long?" he asked in a quiet and contemplative voice. It wasn't his usual commanding tone; his intonation was haunted and pained beneath the words.

Her green eyes had begged him not to ask, but now she could not deny him an answer. She owed him that much. "I was inducted as just the last meeting..." Her voice was trembling softly, he was furious, she was almost certain.

Severus looked like his heart had been broken, torn in two right before him, "Why?"

"I couldn't let you do this alone, Severus! Albus already knows... He agreed with me. You've lost who you are; you've become nothing in hopes that it will make the inevitable easier. Well, now we are both in this together. Now, you can share your pain with me."

Albus knew? Severus hadn't, she'd gone behind his back to do it. That was just another thing she'd kept from him and shared with Albus. She'd probably even used Malfoy to do it. He seemed numb, he felt numb. This was all so much to take in. "You were the new inductee?"

Katya could only offer a meek nod in response. His fury emanated through the entire room. She wanted to do something, to say something to make him happy again. "I'm sorry," was that all she could say to him? Was that all the reparation she could offer? Yes, sadly, it was.

Severus frowned, his fingers delicately tracing the black insignia on her right forearm that was hauntingly familiar to the aged and wearied man. "You're a fool." That dark and stoic voice had returned, had those walls gone back up as well?

She sneered unhappily, "I wasn't going to let you do this alone; the last time I was here the Dark Lord begged Lucius to turn me. Voldemort was beyond pleased to see that I had come to my senses. He has a Russian socialite not to mention another occulmen in his leagues, he will not harm me."

"You truly are a fool, Voldemort holds allegiance to no one!" He was furious and desperately concerned. Did this innocent thing actually know what she was getting in to? _'No, not innocent_,' he reminded himself as he recalled клетка (1). He had never fully understood it, what клеткаwas; he just remembered her nightmares. Her screams and that look in her eyes had told him that it was something terrible, something he would not have wanted to know about. Severus had easily understood, it was like his dealings with Voldemort. Now, she was a part of that as well. "Katya, you do not understand." He took a breath, and then said it. "Remember клетка? How would you feel if I said I had been there?"

Those deep green eyes widened dramatically and she took a few steps back. Her head shook in disbelief and a hand rose to cover her gaping mouth. "Severus... You didn't…" Her voice was weak, her arms shaking and tears swelling in her eyes.

He shook his head, "I did not, but now you understand what I feel when I see the Dark Mark on your arm."

Her lip trembled, "It's different. If you went to клетка, you would enjoy it." Those green pools almost managed to conceal her bitterness. He would have enjoyed it? Something that caused her such pain? Such agony?

Severus's eyes searched hers, "What was it?" His mind strained to think of possibilities. Why would he have enjoyed something that had left her so broken?

Katya stepped back and swallowed the lump in her throat, "I have a lesson to prepare." Her eyes did not leave his until she turned. Pausing a moment with her back to him, she hurriedly made for the door.

The Potion's Master watched her leave. Клеткаgone from his mind for now as he realized it would be a hopeless search for answers, his mind drifted. He wondered what else she'd been doing with Lucius Malfoy, if that's how she'd gotten inside Voldemort's circle. Lucius was known to have affairs, and Katya was known to use everything it took to get the job done. That's why she'd been forced to leave the Order the first time Voldemort rose to power. Dumbledore had strictly ordered her to return to Russia. The reasons had never been revealed to other members... The Potters knew... Severus sighed. When she'd refused to leave, Karma had intervened, evidently, and sent her back regardless.

---

Serviath frowned as Eva filled him in on what the Slytherin House had to offer about Voldemort. The news was not good; ten of them were considering joining his ranks. It was their usual biweekly chat in the Three Broomsticks. No one questioned the twins' conversation; they _were_ twins after all.

He drank his Butterbeer with a sigh, "If it makes you feel any better, three more Ravenclaws joined the DA last Wednesday."

Eva shook her head, "Hardly." Her green eyes stared at the rippling surface of her cognac.

"Something on your mind?" Serviath worried daily about the Slytherin House's effect on his little sister (even if she _was_ only four seconds younger.) The only thing he had to console him was the fact that the Sorting Hat was always right.

She nodded, "I talked to Mum..."

Serviath's ears perked up, being a Gryffindor, he rarely found alone time to speak with her. Mum always took points from Slytherin, so Eva often stayed after class to 'object.' "And?" Serviath pleaded eagerly for more information.

"I do not bring good news," Eva looked grim yet again. Was Slytherin doing _this_ to her as well?

He sighed, bracing himself. "What is it?"

Eva took a deep breath, "Mum... Well... She is working undercover..."

Serviath raised an eyebrow, "Be blunt, just come out with it. You'll be telling me regardless."

"She is one of _them,_" she spat out vehemently. "Mum has the Mark."

He shook his head several times. "Impossible. She would never do that, no matter what the cost."

Eva spun her glass in circles idly, "There's more. The Potion's Master... Master Snape is one as well. A spy."

"How does that correlate?" Serviath was getting lost.

She bit her bottom lip, a common habit of her mother's. "I believe she did it for him. The rumors, I think there may be some validity to them."

Serviath shook his head, "Preposterous! She would never see anything in that disgusting, slimy, unsanitary git!"

Eva raised an eyebrow, "Bitter?"

He glare angrily, "I forbid it!"

"Is that meant to change her mind?" She gave her best sneer, one of the many things that made her Slytherin friends very proud.

Serviath stood up, "She will have nothing to do with that terrible git! I'll send an owl to Anisim if need be!"

---

Harry had held Snape off quite well tonight, he thought as he had exited the classroom. Occulmency was going nicely. His scar started burning again. Harry had resolved earlier _not_ to go to Dumbledore, so instead, he decided to seek out his Defense Professor. Maybe she could offer some clue as to why this was happening?

---

_Fin._

(1) It's a Russian word meaning 'cage.' I will say nothing more of the matter.

_Pacem Spiritus-_ Calm the spirit.


	10. Sweet Remembrance

Forgotten Memories, Painful Past

Chapter Ten

Sweet Remembrance

* * *

Serviath struggled to stay awake during Defense, nodding off once or twice. He hadn't talked to his sister in two weeks. She was furious about his reaction to her comments. But surely she was wrong? His mum and that filthy git? Never! He was pale and slimy and probably from a long line of muggles. His mother deserved far better. He often wondered why she'd refused to marry Anisim. She'd said because she loved their father, but then refused to speak any further on the matter. That was one thing he could give her, for a woman, his mum was stubborn as they come.

Yawning, he followed his fellow classmates out. He had potions next. Splendid. Two periods of glaring angrily at Snape. The filthy, greasy, lecherous man would never touch his mum. To think! He had to fight back a sneer of disgust as he entered the classroom early. His mum was in there! Serviath watched the two conversing in his office. Their conversation was inaudible, but it appeared that they were getting along.

This alone was a shock. They'd been fighting for the title of 'Evil Dictator of Hogwarts' since the school year began. Granted, Snape was the defending champion. Serviath had the undeniable urge to walk over and punch the man. Settling for a mere glare, he headed to his seat and opened a book.

His mum exited the room shortly after, a soft smile on her lips. Serviath glared outright at the professor for the rest of the period.

---

"What were you thinking?" she approached her brother with a glare. "You idiot!"

Damn his mother for this. Eva got her fiery temper from her, indubitably. "I'm sorry, I just..."

Eva stood eye to eye with him, on her toes. "You just what? Lost your mind? Went completely mad? You're going to ruin everything. Just, stay away from me and mum and behave like a proper Gryffindor."

He sighed, "Sorry..."

"You'd damn well better be." She gave him one last glare before rushing off in a huff. It wasn't his fault... He had to talk with Mum, and when she was busy, he'd sought her out. How was he to know everyone in this school talked about everything? Sighing resignedly, he headed for the Gryffindor Common. He owed Seamus a game of wizard's chess.

---

"Come in," her voice echoed politely. She was surprised to see Mr. Potter close the door behind him. "How can I help you, Mr. Potter?"

Harry frowned, "Well... To be honest, I'm not sure if you can..." He approached, sitting in a chair she'd pulled out.

Professor Sullivan smiled, "I can sure try, Mr. Potter."

"It's my scar," he said plainly. "It's been hurting something awful since classes started again. I don't know why, and I don't want to bother Dumbledore."

Her green eyes twinkled in interest, "Does it hurt right now, Mr. Potter?"

He shrugged, "A bit, I suppose."

The Defense teacher nodded, "All I can tell you, Harry, is that there are more Death Eaters on the premises this semester. Do not be alarmed, Dumbledore is fully aware. I am also fairly certain the Dark Lord is planing another attack of some kind, though the details still elude me."

Harry watched her suspiciously a moment, "Have you learned this from Dumbledore?"

"I cannot say anymore, Harry. I'm sorry." She frowned softly.

He sighed, "Can you at least tell him if you find a chance? I waited three weeks to say anything because I thought it might've been merely a phase."

Professor Sullivan stood. "Of course, Harry. Now hurry up to the Common, you don't want Miss Norris catching you, eh?"

"Yes, Professor." Harry frowned as he stood and trotted out of the room.

Leaning against her desk, she rested her forehead in her hand. These children would be the death of her. Literally.

Glancing at the clock, she cursed in her native tongue. She had meant to pay Severus a visit. It would have to wait. Stretching lazily, she headed to bed.

---

Hermione giggled, "Stop that!" She grinned and headed towards defense.

Ron continued to mock Professor Sullivan. "Ten points from Gryffindor for giggling!"

Harry chuckled. "That's terrible. She really is a nice person."

Serviath stormed past them, his face red with anger. Hermione looked to Ron, "What's up with him?"

The two boys shrugged, heading in to the classroom with minor grins on their faces.

---

Raine Sullivan stretched sleepily. Classes had gone well but she hardly had the energy to attend dinner. She was exhausted. Standing, she muttered the password to open her private chambers when she heard something outside her room. Voices, male one... She surreptitiously slid her door open. Snape and Mr. Cornwell? Snape was angry, she could hear it in his voice. The ministry pawn seemed frightened of him. He damned well better be. She tried to listen but could hardly hear a thing.

"Are we clear?" Severus's voice was firm and demanding.

Mr. Cornwell stammered, "Yes- Yes of course, Professor Snape. She won't be bothered again."

Severus stood there forebodingly until the more portly man hurried off. She was tempted to call his name, but he turned towards her room anyway. Hurrying back to her desk, she pulled out an ungraded assignment and pretended to be looking it over.

_Knock. Knock._

"Come in," she said absentmindedly, writing an 'O' on the top of Miss Weasley's essay about boggarts. 'Substantial improvement!' she scribbled hastily before looking up. "Severus..."

He frowned, "I need to speak with you, Katya." He closed the door firmly, only worsening the dread that came over her. He slowly approached, hands clasped behind his back. "This is about Serviath."

Raine raised an eyebrow, "What is it? Has he done something?" That boy _was_ a bit of a troublemaker at his old school, but she thought they'd worked things out.

"Not at all," he said reassuringly. His tone was still rather distant. When was he going to admit that they were his kids as well?

She put the papers away and leaned back in her chair, "Then what is it?"

He pursed his lips, "The boy seems undeniably angry at me and I've done nothing to incite such anger. He spends most of the class glaring at me rather than finishing his potions. Do they know, Katya?"

"No," she said firmly, shaking her head.

Professor Snape leaned against one of the tables in the front row. "Then why?"

Raine searched his eyes for some emotion. Nothing... How typical. Did Severus actually care what his children thought of him? Was he acknowledging that they were his? Doubtfully. "I have no idea."

He sighed, "Fair enough." After a moment's pause, he turned to leave. "I bid you good evening, Katya."

She watched him depart, frowning. Why _was_ Serviath glaring at him? With a loud yawn, she decided it was a matter best contemplated only after a good night's rest. Dropping her black rimmed glasses on to her desk, she headed to her room. Raine never got the chance to change her clothes, the warmth and comfort of her bed engulfed her immediately.

---

Severus frowned, taking another swig out of his brandy bottle. He shouldn't care about Serviath's petty inexplicable grudge. He was entirely too sober. Taking another long drink, he sighed quietly. The Potions Master was now settling in with the thought that he was a father, and abhorring it. He was mostly afraid, though he decided it was not the proper way for him to feel and granted himself another burning throatful of brandy.

_Would they even want me to be there father?_ He doubted either of them would want to know; principally because they would henceforth have to face the fact that Severus Snape, their Potions professor, had not only snogged their mother, but shagged her as well. _And thoroughly at that..._ Shaking his head, he took another gulp. _Better._ Things were starting to blur now, but he also felt less concerned. It was nice. Severus sighed. _Would I even know what to do as a father?_ He knew one thing. He knew he'd never be like his father.

After eighteen years, his father's abuse still had its obscured scars. _At least I can take comfort in knowing that I would never behave in such a way. While I have the proclivity to be easily incensed, I rarely act upon it. I prefer it that way, truthfully. No mess._ _No emotion. Nothing._ He needed another drink to reassure himself. God, that brandy burned.

Leaning back against the headboard of his bed, he sighed. _Perhaps I was never meant to have feelings? Katya truly seemed to refute that fact... Then again, that woman could charm the devil himself... I hate her for it. But I don't._ Another long gulp of brandy made him feel better about that. _Sod Katya. Sod the twins. Sod Hogwarts and sod life._ He nodded softly, reaffirming himself. _Well, perhaps not life. I have to continue to torment Potter, Weasley and Granger. Ah, Miss Granger..._ That topic was much less complicated. That's why he had to continue to live, to keep that little Gryffindor in line. _She reminds me much of myself, except she is nice and social and has hair like a electrocuted weasel._ Chuckling softly, he ran a hand through his thick black hair. He took another swig from the now less than half-full bottle. Severus had forgotten to talk to Katya about the little defense club. Sighing, he capped the bottle and stood. Perhaps he should also thank her for the potions. _No._ She may have fathered his only living heirs, but he would show her no gratitude. He was Severus Snape and he was grateful to no one.

---

Raine groaned groggily. "What?" Upon realizing her response to the knocking had been hardly coherent, she sat up. Murmuring the password, she reached for her wand.

"Katya?"

What was Severus going here? She flinched under the invading light. Yawning again, she stretched her arms out and padded across the room, still in her clothes. "Can I help you?"

Severus frowned, "I didn't mean to wake you."

"Sev, it's three in the morning, why would I still be awake?" She looked at him, running a hand through her hair.

He shrugged, "I was. I just thought..." Frowning, he turned. "I'll come back later." Severus practically walked in to a wall, sliding around it slowly.

Raine approached him, examining him meticulously. "Severus Snape, are you sloshed?"

Severus had a crooked grin on his lips. "Sloshed, dear? I have heard that term since... The 70s?"

Giving him a reproving glance, she laughed softly. "You _are_!" She smirked, realizing that look she'd interpreted as a smirk was the closest he would allow himself to come to a smile. "And you did it without me!"

"Seems someone was sleeping," He was definitely smirking now.

Raine shook her head a moment, "Now what was it you wanted?"

Severus frowned. "For Salazar's sake..." Why couldn't he remember? _Did it have to do with Serviath? No... They'd already discussed that. Voldemort then? Nope. Drawing a blank..._ "Sod it," he cursed sharply. _That's it! _The light bulb sparking in his thought process was practically visible, "The defense club. I know some Slytherin students who are completely trustworthy. Could they join?"

She bit her lip in deep deliberation, "I would have to run their names by Eva. Sometimes there are even things that a legilimency-abusing, snoopy Potions teacher cannot know."

Raine was delighted that she'd earned another crooked grin from him. "Would you care for some brandy?"

"I thought you'd never ask," she laughed. Following him down to his room, she procured a bottle of scotch on the way out of her classroom.

Severus raised an eyebrow, "Dare I ask?"

Raine smirked, "Even Ravenclaws can have their own secrets."

"Touché."The two clanked glasses, drowning their current hectic thoughts and fears in a potent pool of scotch and brandy.

---

"Mum?" Eva closed the door behind her. The room was empty. Knocking on the door to her private chambers, she also received no response. With a sigh, she decided to ask her head of house, quaintly enough, he was _also_ the one Eva suspected her mother of being smitten with.

Not even the glaring sunrays of a spring morning could seep their way down in to this dungeon. Shivering slightly, she opened the door to the potions classroom. It, too, was empty. "Professor?" She heard a loud groan.

Tentatively pushing the door to his office open, she found who she was looking for. "Are you two _drunk_?"

Professor Snape was sitting in his chair, head resting to the side, against her mother's. Professor Sullivan was sitting sideways across his lap, also half asleep. "Were," her mother corrected, "We were drunk."

Severus chuckled softly at this. The chuckles even slurred together as he resigned to a heavy sigh. "This is by far the worst hangover I've ever had."

Eva watched her mum turn to her potions professor. "You woke up with me, is that so horrendous? Not to mention… I _know_ you've had worse hangovers. Remember when Sirius got a hold of those bottles of moonshine?"

She observed in horror as her professor cringed. "That I do."

Raising an eyebrow and tapping her foot, she waited for the two to recover. "You both _do_ realize you have to report for breakfast in one hour... Mum?"

Raine turned to her daughter, "We'll be fine, honey. We're wizards, we can take care of it."

"Why hasn't anyone made a charm for that yet?" her potions master asked contemplatively.

She laughed, "There's a potion for it."

Eva paled in horror, they were beyond drunk. "Professor Snape, I hardly think this is appropriate."

His eyes narrowed on her, "I don't give a damn what you think is appropriate, young lady. I am an adult, I am your superior. Don't make me deduct points from my own house."

Her mother grinned evilly, "Ten points from Slytherin for insubordination."

Eva sighed, "I'll speak with you later, mum."

Severus was glaring at Katya. "You didn't have to do that."

"Yes I did," she laughed softly and sighed. "We really need two of those potions. D'you have them?"

He nodded, sliding her out of his lap so he could get up. Raine leaned against him wearily, unsteady on her feet. "Come on, stand up."

She grinned, "I'm fine." The moment he left her side, she stumbled. Falling against him, she clung 'round his waist. He turned, glaring over his shoulder at her.

"I don't ever remember you being this drunk," he muttered, setting her in to the chair.

Raine sighed, "Maybe if you weren't such a lightweight..."

Severus procured two of the potions from his private, magically-sealed, cabinet. Handing her one, he tossed the other one upward with a cringe. Not only was this potion one of the most vile-tasting, it also went down with a kick that made even tequila seem weak. Groaning in disgust, he turned back to find Katya standing autonomously. "Better?"

Brushing her unkempt and knotted hair from her face, she plastered on a smile. "Fine enough."

He watched her a moment, pretending he was worried about her balance. In truth, he began to notice the creases in her forehead and bags below her eyes. No laugh lines though... _You have to laugh to create laugh lines. _Severus sighed, "You should go."

Raine nodded softly. "Thank you for the lovely evening." Tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear, she slid out of the office and closed the heavy classroom door behind her.

Groaning in dismay, he collapsed back in his chair. What a night... It had been the first time the two had gotten along. He sighed and rubbed his eyes. The memories of Hogwarts had been pleasant and painful but they had dwelled on the former. Strange how many – and yet how few – things had changed.

He knew he had to get up and prepare to make a suitable entrance for breakfast, but the task seemed insurmountable from his chair. Closing his eyes a moment, he resigned to show up late.

---

Raine held back a depressed sigh when she arrived at the Great Hall and found Severus absent. Making quiet banter with Professor Sinistra, she kept an eye on the door.

"Good morning, Miss Sullivan." Minerva smiled softly at her.

Turning to her old professor, Raine managed a smile in return. "Good morning, Minerva." It had taken a good month and a half of practice to master calling her old professor by her first name.

Minerva nodded, "How was your evening?"

Raine was momentarily distracted by the entrance of another adult in to the Hall. It was merely Mr. Cornwell. Turning back to Minerva, she struggled to remember what she'd just been asked. "Uh- Interesting." She smiled, leave it at that. "Yours?"

She pursed her lips, "Well enough."

Green eyes probed the Transfiguration teacher a moment longer before smiling cordially at Mr. Cornwell. The man made her skin crawl, he was disgusting. Finishing her meal, she quickly rose and made her way back to her office. She sat down in her seat, closing her eyes and sighing heavily. Had last night been a good idea? Poor Severus, she had to speak with Serviath soon. She pursed her lips and set back to grading, class would start in thirty minutes.

* * *

_Finite._ Next Chapter is in the works. 


End file.
